Sunday, 2 December 2012

They think they can kill me, Manic can die a hundred times, but he is an idea now, an ideal, to strive for truth and life and the protection of those you love. The torture he has been put through caused his mind to fracture again, I am that last dying piece. He has left me in this world to die of the cold, alone, depraved, an insult to me, hum, death doesn't seem that bad, Manic is gone anyway, fled this body leaving me to rife the torture, I guess he was a coward in the end. So he''s died three times once as Sane, twice as Manic, and a fourth time.... soon, as me, this is only fleeting to give a word of warning to one person I found, poor kid, he has to suffer now, one last torture for me, kill an innocent. I won't, can't. do it, but he'll force me control me.

In advance to this kid sorry, I would kill myself if I could but the torture, well my torture, is almost complete, hopefully, you can live beyond that.

as it is no longer Manic talking I can't use his name,

- decay

Wednesday, 14 November 2012

He's gone

Really gone, I'm just getting to grips with it, he was always the consummate survivor, Kat still hasn't com e out of the room, she's been crying two days straight. The kid is just sat in Manic's old chair playing with some gear thing. But I guess I should back up a few days to let you know, after Manic came back with the kid Kat was actually really happy, and went all motherly, it's weird to see her like that when I've seen her in more.... murderous states.

They had one day together before shit started to fly, it was 2 in the morning when we heard the door burst open, we ran onto the landing, I saw Manic teleport downstairs. I ran down the stairs to see Manic fighting 10 proxies that had poured into the hall. I jumped over the banister onto one of the proxies and broke their neck. Manic and I fought them out the door, into the front garden. They were running, but Manic turned to me and forced me back inside, I heard the jeeps then. I think 30 of them had come I don't think we could have taken them even if we got Kat, and Grey to help. Because I saw as they lined up that the Slender Man was standing in front of them, something whistled past my ear, Manic had thrown something, it seemed to burn as it came closer to the Slender Man, it turned red, and turned to dust. Manic didn't respond to this, he just rushed me back inside with the others.

M: There are more of them on the way, there is no way we can beat them, get everyone together I will take us some place safe.
T: We are being chased by the Slender Man, no where is safe.
M: Trust me, trust me this one last time.

And I did he went out and started shouting at the Slender Man, I got Grey, Patrick, Aoife, and Kat all together in the front room and told them that Manic had a plan. When they asked me what it, was all I could reply with was ' Fucked if I know'. I heard more truck and a crack, next thing I know Manic has run in and making sure everyone is ready tells us to hold hands. He grabbed mine and Kat's, and I felt sick, it felt like I was being stretched. I didn't know where was up and down, I saw Manic next to me, it looked like he was struggling to keep consciousness, I don't think he's ever teleported this many people at once, he looked even in pain. Then I felt myself contract into my normal state, and felt cold ground on my face and found everyone similarly sprawled on the ground. Manic was up, but he was unsteady on his feet, Kat went to help him, but before she got to him he lurched forward and fell on the ground. I looked about for anything, and you can guess what I saw, Slendy himself standing in the middle of a load of trees, this is also when the mist came. Manic got up and stumbled abit, I think they were having a battle of minds.

M: This is it I guess.
T: Manic what are you doing?
M: Doing what is right.
K: What's the plan, because if you just go up to him he will just kill you, and that doesn't sound liek a very good plan.
P: *Piques up* That's the plan I think mum.
K: What, NO!
P: I thought you had a deal with Mr tick, he said you'd be safe.
M: Yes, but you two wouldn't, I would have to live the life I had been awarded as I watched you two suffer and probably die.
K: No Manic! You can stay, we can keep running, we can survive like we always do.
M: Survive, hmmm, I've always been a survivor haven't I. But look at Patrick, do you want him to grow up like we did, cause that is surviving, but it isn't living.
K: Manic, don't go. *She was crying now, clinging to Manic, he was still too weak to move*
M: I have to, I have to keep you safe, I have to keep everyone safe. Besides, do you really think I could live a 'normal life', I wasn't made to live like a normal person, I was made to be a weapon. I was influenced by Fears my entire life, I have been stalked to the edge of the universe and back. It was hell, but it's my hell, and it's the only way I know how to live.
K: No! NO! you are mine, I won't let them take you, I'd rather die than live without you.
M: Then who would look after Patrick, you can't do that to him.
K: * Kat clung harder to Manic, I could see in his eyes he was trying not to cry, but he hugged Kat and kissed her*
M: I love you, and I always will.
* He teleported out of her grip*

I took both me and Grey to hold her back.


* He turned back once, and it was the first and last time I've ever seen Manic cry, and waved goodbye*

Patrick started running when he was half way, I saw Manic crouch down and talk to him, I saw Manic chuckle and smile, as Patrick hands him something, Manic hugged him and Patrick waited, I was about to go and get him, despite KAt struggling, but Aoife put her hand on me, and stopped me, she walked up to him, and sat down next to him, Patrick just crawled up into a ball on her lap. Manic was getting closer to the Slender Man, and the fog was getting thicker it was hard enough making him out.

*She stopped making sense after that just screaming and sobbing, tried to claw at me and Grey, we still didn't let go*

I think Manic stopped for a little bit to think, because it seemed to take him ages to cross the last few meters between him and Slendy. When he did..... well the fog finally grew thick enough to obscure our vision, but we heard a bone chilling scream, it actually has kept me awake for most of the nights. The fog thinned abit and they were both gone, Kat was still screaming and sobbing, she still hasn't stopped but she has calmed abit. I think I'm starting to crack a little bit, I thought I heard Manic last night in Kat's room, but I put it down to the stress.

But I guess this is his end, he wanted us to be free, but I don't see how we can when he's been a part of our life so long. I've stated to tear up, I better finish this quick, before I change my mind again.

Manic. Rest in Peace, we loved you, and trusted you, until the end, and beyond.

To you the few who followed him,

Stay Safe Stay Sharp and Stay Alive,

Friday, 9 November 2012

It's done

It's fucking done, I fucking did it, no more ticking no more running, just peace, be it death or life outside this, but then that is the future. I did what I had to do, I have my Son back, I killed myself. I guess this is the informing post before I go to sleep before the final task needs to be done.

So the Ticking man came to me after my post and told me I was ready, he gave me a limited scope of ability, I could only access parts of my own life and two beyond it, he said it was necessary, otherwise he said I'd fuck up my timeline up even more. He allowed me to take Eoin to keep continuity and to make sure I don't do stuff I shouldn't.

So I went back to before I was alive to put a perception filter round the lake so only people from my family could see it. These actions ensured a legend back in my home of Noname, no children were actually harmed, it was just a  story I planted in the heads of a couple of the adults of the time.

Then it came to my torture, and you can read about that yourself, then it came to kidnapping Kat, there were no other fears there, I just affected our perception, I was knife to Kat but had to make her forget. When I had her, she was happy she knew why I had to do it, she had accepted it but I had to wipe her memory, otherwise this would all be broken again.

After Kat went back to past me me and Eoin had a talk, he asked me why I was so sad, I replied, because I'm going to die soon. 'But Mr Tick said he would let you free if you did this', 'He did, but he's a fear he has a plan, and he wants me dead, and I'm not going to stop him' I said.

M: Don't you ever wonder how you came to be a ticker Eoin, whatever happened to your parents?
E: Why would I they left me, Jenny has looked after me like a mum all my life, and Mr Tick says my Dad was a terrible man, caused alot of trouble for him. Besides for the past few months I've had you as a dad Manic, that's good enough for me, it doesn't matter who made me, only who raised me.
M: But maybe they are good people, maybe you could escape from this life, of death and misery.
E: And do what?
M: Your so young, you can still change, you can live independent of all this, this is just all I know that is why I can't change, you have a chance to be better, and I won't allow you to be forced into this life if I could help it.
E: And why should I, you lived like this since you were my age?
M: Do I look happy with my life, like this is what I wanted?
E: You have a family, you built one.
M: And I'll have to leave them very soon, and that kills me inside, but it's what I have to do for their good, do you want to know what my real name is, I bet you can't guess.
E: James, Paul, Michael, Eaimon, Cathal.
M: No,no,no,no, and N.
E: Lucy.
M: Little shit, * I chuckle* My Name is Eoin, and Fears don't do anything without reason, even in my tired state I can see the connection, he's been taunting me for months and I didn't even notice.
E: What, what is it?
M: Your name isn't Eoin, you weren't abandoned you were stolen from you parent's by your father, you were given to the ticking man for safe keeping, so I could fix the time line. You are Patrick,  I am your father, Kat is your Mother, and you will have to kill me when this is done, because I have no affetct on my own time line anymore, my clock will tick to it's end and he will make you do it.
P: No you're lying, I have no parents they left me, I am Eoin, a child of Mr Tick, he raised me, so did Jenny, No it can't.
M: How else do you think you have such a natural affinity for mechanical things, you can see how the universe and things fit together, me and my brother have mental abilities, this was probably brought on by the excessive exposure to the fears, and you have had it too, and have the same blood in your veins. And I'd be damn if you don't look like a young me. Think back to when you were really young, I looked in your mind pulled up an old memory. He gave you to Jenny and called you the mini Manic,  and to make sure you were ready to kill me.
P: No! No, You're lying, You're lying, You're a Filthy rotten Liar! You kidnapped your son only a few months ago.
M: You were raised by a fear of time I think he could manipulate it so you would grow up in time to kill me. Why would I lie, what do I have to gain.
P: I don't know, you don't want me to kill you, you want me to leave the only family I've known, you wnat me to wither and die like you, get old, get weak. I'm not your Son.
M: Really, when me and Sirus were younger we tried using our abilities on each other, when we were young we couldn't fend of each other, when we got older we could stop each other, so inherently our abilities couldn't hurt the other. Try to use your on me, try and imagine my part s and deconstruct me.
P: NO, I don't want to kill you.
M: Dont' worry you won't, because you can't.
* Concentration came on his face, he tried and tried but he saw his failure every time.*
P: Dad?
M: Yes?
P: Can I see mum?

I won't tell him I'll die in about a week time, it won't help him, this is one secret between me and you blogo sphere. I will leave a contingency for when I am gone, the others will tell you, things will be set in order, I can die in peace.

Stay Sharp, Stay Safe, And Stay Alive.

My Friends, I thank you for everything, all those come and gone, and still here, thank you.

-Manic Muse

Wednesday, 7 November 2012

So Tired

It's too bad Tom didn't lose his leg this time, he wants me to help him do so much stuff, I just can't haven't slept for days, even starting to have micro naps I don't even want, I may even fall into a coma from the lack of sleep. I forget how long I've been awake, the new plan is almost complete, the Ticking man say I am almost ready to get my Son back, I just grumble my replies these days, I can't muster the energy to reply properly. I have hallucinations, I think I see Slender Man just standing them but it always disappears, I can't even trust my eyes anymore, and if I can't do that what do I trust. Kat is showing she's more worried about me, but if I do this then we can live free, we can live in a family, just Live. Only if I do this, only if I go back, torture myself and her, steal my own son, kill myself, then come back, he's promised that he will leave me after that, as long as I fix my time line, any time I've taken from another will be added to mine, I will grow to an old age, I will die, I will be Human, free, free, my freedom to die, then Azreal can take me, I*'ll Embrace the Archangel then. Kat will be free to be away from me, Patrick will be safe.

He will settle any debt I have with the Slender Man, I will be safe, safe, free, I can be myself again, Manic can Die, Manic will be free.

Freedom, is that what I really want, I have never lived without the threat of a fear over me, I have never paid a single tax, I have never worked a job that pays me not to kill someone. I have never slept in on the weekends. Can I live this type of life, when I don't even know, I haven't even existed in their records since I was 9, I only have a death certificate from when Slendy tauntingly released my body to Sirus, and my Grand father, he never accepted that I was dead, he never accepted that. How can I be accepted in a world like the one we hide from. I'm a murderer, how will I know I am able to fight any temptation, when those that anger me lash out, how do I know instinct won't kick in, how do I know. If I am attacked how do I know that it's a proxy or a desperate mugger, what if he comes in the night, and I am not ready, lulled into my false sense of security.

I don't want to leave, who says it would be easier, who says it would be safer, maybe for me, but not the world. I don't want to waste my time doing menial jobs, when Fears kill innocents and enslave them. I can't waste my time, can't waste my energy, I can't be a free man, because free Men always die alone, if you aren't free, atleast you will die with your enemy by your side, inseparable, only death can do it.

I am Manic Muse, ex-proxy of PRE 01, Son of Proxies of PRE 01 and PRE 04, Grandson of proxy of PRE 04. Wife Ex proxy of PRE 01, chased by PRE 01. Son taken in the name of his freedom.

Does this man deserve to live, does this man deserve to die peacefully, alone, free from all his commitments, but then again, all my friends that are out this event, are already dead, Patch.... his death still haunts me, because I was too weak, Johnny, people I knew, and Zeke is imprisoned.

I don't deserve life, and death is too good for me.

Stay Safe, Stay Sharp and Stay Alive.

-Manic Muse

Monday, 5 November 2012

Back to business

Developing stock pile of Sub Mixtures in case I'm forced to run away from the house, it wasn't suppose to be this way, it wasn't suppose to fall apart to fall apart, this wasn't the Plan, Kat, Tom, Aoife, Patrick, Grey were suppose to be safe, not be under threat from a fear. I paid my dues, to the Slender Man, yet he only stays away due to my possession of these Sub- Mixtures, otherwise I wouldn't be typing now. The making of more of the Sub Mixtures seems to stop the ticking, I work in silence, I have removed every clock I could find in my house, I wouldn't know what time it was if it weren't for the computer.

I feel my sanity slipping, as surely as before, I seek silence isolation, work, only way to stop the ticking, only Eoin, the ticker dares come near me in this state, I've also changed the password, it will only be me posting from now on, I don't want them to know I don't want them to get involved. I'm getting close I think, only a week more then Mr Tick will help me. I asked to help Eoin on one of his dead face missions, he seemed excited about this.

The guy was a Slacker, I don't know 25 ish, I didn't have a file on him as I usually do when hunting someone, Eoin didn't know, he just knew his time was up and the Clock deemed it necessary to bring him. He took out a small pocket watch, I saw the fear symbol for Dead under the hands, the hand twitched feebly like a clock hand stuck on something.

E: I can't do anything, Jenny usually handled them, You just have to bring this one to the Clock tower for Mr Tick, he has a plan for him.
M: I can't, I said I wouldn't kill innocents anymore, unless it was me or them, and they wouldn't give up if I was still breathing.
E: I see.

Eoin proceeded to walk to the place the man was sitting, and tug his jacket asking if he saw his daddy, the Slacker gave a half caring response of, No. Eoin came back and said nothing just waited 2 minutes later he looked at his watch and put it to his ear, then started scratching his ear it's like he was trying to dig something out his head. Then I realised that he was hearing the ticking. He started fidgeting like he was in great discomfort. He saw me looking at him, and got angry, and went for me, I blocked his jab with my left arm, forcing it down and to the side whilst following with a right hook. He went down but got up quickly.

E: HE's not going to stop, but the noise will if you take him to the Clocktower, then he won't try and kill you, so you won't have to kill him.

So I did, We were standing out side the tower seconds later, the man stopped as soon as his feet touched the ground, and he looked up, I followed his gaze, realising I hadn't seen the sky from inside the tower. There was a massive Clock in the Sky in place of a moon or a sun.

TM: Well done Eoin, you did well, even without your Tocker, you may go now.
M: Wait! What are you going to do to him?
TM: I'm a fear what you think I'll do?
M: But what?
TM: You see that ocean there, in it's vastness there are island dotted into infinity, as time is infinite, even without, your matter. On them stand some of my Victims*Checks his pocket watch, and gives an imitation of a frown* they are stranded there unable to even drink they Go mad usually.
M: Why?
TM: Because of their desperation  they will try to swim, but as soon as the time touches them, the memories of misery and regret flood, their mind , so the usually just try to run back to the dry land, they try again and again. They will do it so often that the time will have drained out of them, either the time around them will rise enough that there is no dry land left, so they constantly feel the memories. They go Mad, and see the only release is to wade deeper, or accept me, most choose to wade until they sink beneath the surface, usually their mind breaks before this, but the time they forfeited had been extracted from them. So they just sink. This is what will happen to him.
*He looks at his pocket watch again*
M: What's in the pocket watch?
TM: Oh an anomaly, something I'm trying to rectify.
M: Who's is it?
TM: Good question, insightful question. It's yours, do you want to see?
M: Wouldn't that be unwise me knowing how long I have left?
TM: Maybe, but sometimes the best torture is watching those who try and avoid their fate, yet cause it themselves, and the torture, of their minds as they know their end. Here look.

I look at the watch it has a massive crack down the center of the face, an the hands had stopped moving shortly before Dead.

M: SO it's broken?Why haven't you fixed it.
TM: Urg, I thought you would have understood, these watches do not break, they handle Time, you have just Broken yours by the flagrant uncaring you show to it. I am waiting for that hand to reach it's destination, so I can take you. As Muse, no Man lives forever.

I left then, followed shortly by Eoin, I still hear the scream of the Man, as I left. I still hear them now, entangled with the ticking, like some one is being grinded by a pair of slow moving gears.

Stay Safe, Stay Sharp and Stay Alive.

-Manic Muse

Saturday, 3 November 2012

Visit from a Blind Man

I was writing in another journal, the compulsion seems to have returned along with the ticking, it seems that I am verging on insanity. But that is another problem for another time, but this is when the Blind Man appeared and I felt the change in pressure, I don't think he was happy.

BM: Where are they?
M: Who?
*I didn't get up or stop writing*
BM: I think you know.
M: So he made the right choice did he?
BM: Deisis is dead, to me that is not the right choice. So Where are they?
M: Oh, I don't know, why would I?
BM: You offered them aid around the time the choice was made, so here is a viable place.
M: Perhaps I didn't make it clear WHY, would I, the amount I've done to annoy the fears, why would I keep fugitives, risk the safety of my friends.
BM: But you are the only other individual in the world that have the Sub-Mixtures, you would be who they came to.
M: Really, you think they'd come to me the day after they made the choice, think they come to an obvious ally, when you would be searching for them. Be assured, I will tell you if they come to me, is that good enough.
BM: I find it hard to believe you would turn in those two, because they made the 'right' choice, you won't help me I don't think.
M: Well, I think you may be right, I wouldn't turn them in, I won't turn them if they do come. And I will defend those type of people to the death if needs be, because it Would be the right thing to do.
BM: And how would you defend against me, a fear.
M: Like you said I have the Sub-Mixtures, maybe you can get the fascist of a grandson you have can kill me for you, the Sub-Mixtures wouldn't have an effect on his knights. But he's a fear, I may not hold back for him if he comes.
BM: Muse, Your insolence has been enough of a problem for the Fears! You will listen to me, if I find you harboring these traitors, I will show you no mercy on you, I don't care if it causes some Paradox, I will go back and kill you before the loop is required.
M: Well, if you are quite done I have other things to do today.
BM: I'll be watching you.

* I looked up smiled and Waved, then he left*

I went back to the block of wood, to ask it some stuff,

Stay Sharp, Stay Ssafe and Stay Alive

-Manic Muse

Thursday, 1 November 2012

Halloween Experiment

Sorry I didn't tell you about this before hand but it slipped my mind in the last post for obvious reasons, but not even a ticking in my head can stop me experimenting on such a great night of perception.

Subject: PREs, anything that involves perception.

Reason: Due to influence Halloween has become a point of exaggerated terror and horror, when every dresses up and for that night, monsters could be real. This has been true for millenia, it has been a point where they believe the veil that separates life and death is thinnest, and hence anything that dwells there all demons have more sway.

Experiment: To see if perception on that night was heightened, and if Fear activity is also increased.

Experiment (findings):

I went out to check how people reacted, there were children and teenagers out respectively collecting sweets and drinking. I initially dressed as Slendy to see if the results varied from the one I did earlier in this blog. People actually noticed me and children ran from me, teenagers tried to joke with me, but also shat themselves when I teleported away from them and appeared right behind them. I also saw the actual Slendy, he seemed pissed when he noticed me. But I saw him alot that night stalking certain groups, I just waved whenever he saw me, I pissed him off, he did seem to be on the verge of attacking me, but seemed to relax like he knew something I didn't, made me uneasy.

I also saw Archy in his gas mask, working his way through crowds, and the plague doc with his cane tapping away, Wooden girl among a group of guys, doing probably what she does best. I even saw the Rake dragging off a guy he had killed.

I'm pretty sure I saw Mr Tick just sitting on top of a wall, taunting me with his watch and his ticking, looked like he was frowning at me.

Conclusion: This time does increase the number of Fear incidents, Therefore, you shouldn't go out during Halloween if you value your pulse.

Stay Safe, Stay Sharp and Stay Alive

Tuesday, 30 October 2012

It just keeps going.

Since my post from yesterday I have had this ticking in my head like the Conductor is right behind me, with all his clockwork innards going away. Kat's noticed that when i'm forced to sit still for a while I start fidgeting, and can't relax, it's at these moments the ticking's loudest, I have to move, have to move from the noise, it's the only time it stops. The ticker followed me home from the Clock tower, he's just sat in the corner playing with gears and cogs, he disappears for a few minutes when he runs out, but he always comes back. I also realised I didn't give a decent enough description of the ticking man, wasn't really the pressing thought I had at that time, so here are the basic details;

He has a jacket that changes colour, it went through loads when I saw him, but it settled mainly on half black half white. I guess that is to symbolise the night and day, why else would it be half and half. On this jacket there are many cogs and gears all interlinked to form a pattern I couldn't quite discern, because I think that was shifting aswell. His eyes look normal until you look closely, where you see the cogs in his pupils moving, I believe part of his inner physiology is comprised of clockwork, but he does definatly have not clockwork parts, as his movements did not appear to be jerky and automatic. His shows are hard to place, they look like the leather shoes you'd expect to see people in old london would wear, soft leather that had strings for laces, not completely out of place anywhere. His trousers also followed the same pattern as his jacket, with only his tie remaining a constant shade of red. His hat appeared to have goggles on them, possibly to aid his or increase the dread his victims feel. last part is his hat, again it's red like a bloody sunrise on which his goggles are bound. Over all he seems very unsettling, despite the fact he has a flambouant air for a fear, but he still maintains the malevolence that you usually associate one with.

This is all the information I can gather, the scientist in me, still want to document, but the ticking is getting louder, must talk to the ticker, must find out what it is.

Why doesn't he talk he just winds up the little golden apparatus he made me once and let it play, the ticking stopped, I listened to the music and I wasn't angry anymore. This is when he said;

?: Hello Manic sorry, Mr Tick doesn't play well with others, people who encounter him always here the ticking, it's how he gets them. Some are driven so mad they kill themselves to stop the ticking, some just run until their heart gives out. Some seek out Mr tick, and become tickers like me, or tockers like Jenny was.
M: Jenny was your tocker was she?
*HE nods*
M: What's your name?
?: Mr Tick says my name is Eoin, but I don't remember my parents, I remember waking up here knowing how to do all these things, and Mr Tick gave me to Jenny, she treated me nice, like imagine a mum does, but she died because one of the dead faces went insane and killed her. That's when he moved me to watch you, you were suppose to be a new target.
M: What's a dead face?
E: Someone Mr Tick, has told us to kill, Someone who's time has run out.
M: Was I dead face?
E: Yes. But Mr Tick, said to leave you alone, that there were other plans for you, so I did.
M: What are the clocks and watches in the tower for Eoin?
E: They are the time wasters, with Mr Tick, if you do nothing and don't seize an opportunity you forfeit another moment because of the waste, which ends up at the clock tower.

*The music stopped playing and the ticking came again, Eoin waved at me goodbye and went back to playing with his gears and cogs*

Damn ticking, always going on in my head, my head, my sanctuary since Sane died.

Must work, must do something, not nothing, can't sleep, or the Ticking will get me.

Stay Safe, Stay Sharp and Stay Alive,

-Manic Muse , tick,tick,tick, tick

Monday, 29 October 2012

Tick,tock,Tick, tock, Tick.....

Failed, I failed again, I had that feeling of Deja vu I get when someones coming to tell me I fucked something up again. I wasn't disappointed, I turned around to find myself face to face with someone, or something, because like with many of these things it looked and talked human, but something was off. When ever he stood still or was sitting there was always motion in him. He was tapping his finger against his leg in a pattern:

?: How many times will you destroy a time line before you get the idea that it's not a good idea to do what you're doing, and to think it would go unnoticed by everyone.
M: Have the Fears themselves given up on berating me, am I just being given one umbrella from a proxy now?
?: Proxy? No I am not a proxy, I am a fear, even though I don't flaunt my existence and stomp like my family .M: A fear? Of what?
?: Well I guess divulging the information to you is not too much to ask, especially since I'm surprised you got this far. I have had a few names from the people I chase, I've been called, the Clockwork man, the Conductor, the everlasting beat, or I assume will be your favorite, the Ticking Man. I Muse, am the fear of having wasted time, especially the past. And you've pissed away time.
M: Hmmm, well, I'm surprised I don't know about you how do I know you're a fear or just some guy that's trying to use me?
TM: Well if I wasn't a fear could I do this?
M: Do what?

* He gestured to my window, I saw a bird hung in the air mid flap*
M: Well, that's abit conclusive, anymore proof.
TM: *Exasperated came towards me, a growing tick came with him* Well, take a look here.

* He had little clockwork gears in his eyes, and I heard the ticking coming from inside him*
M: So I'm guessing you came to kill for fucking with your timelines to much?
TM: Yes I thought you would assume that, but I'd think that'd upset one of my tickers very much, you have met him and he grew quite fond of you. But just killing you won't fix any of the timelines, and neither will let you live, but leaving you alive may keep this one going for as long as it should. Since you can try and stop any approaching war. And hopefully you'll listen to me, my brothers have already had enough of you and want me to sort it out.
M: But what should I do, I always fuck them up, what do I do?
TM: I know what you should do, but you have to make the choices, but I have to send you back at some point, you facilitate yourself to this point, so I will do it when I deem you ready.
M: What if I need to contact you?
TM: I can show you my domain, but I don't want you dropping in all the time, you humans are incredibly needy creatures.
*He took a few cogs from the lapel of his jacket and orientated them in some way, he left them and they turned in the air, a gap opened like a second hand moving round a clock face, so a circle leading in was left in the air*
TM: Here is my domain, whatever you do I ask you not to touch the liquid that surrounds the tower.

* I saw a tower filled with clocks, covered in fear letters, I guess it was the clock of peoples lives because I almost knocked one on the ground and he flipped, almost threw me out the window. I also saw Mini noname, playing with something, but where I expected to see no face I saw, a beaming child handing out a small object to me. It was a scale model of Slendy doing an irish jig then falling over, and picking himself up again.*

M: I guess that's the person that helped me.
TM: Yes that's one of my tickers, they track people whom they believe to have regret in their past, and if they think they have wasted time. His complementary tocker was killed a few months ago, so I let him sit here and play.
M: What are tockers?
TM: They are my proxies who actually do the killing, for every tick there's a tock. Tockers either bring them to me or kill them, trackers usual don't need to.
Here we are at the top, what do you see?
M: I don't know a big ocean of nothing.
TM: It's a river of time, those are memories and time wasted, people waste time everyday, it all ends up here.

But now you know as much as you need to know, so I will ask you to leave and with a check of his watch pushed me back into my room, on to my bed.

What the Fuck Just Happened?


Monday, 22 October 2012

Manic's back?

Well I think he is.

He seems to be different, the doctor seems to have taken something out of him, put something inside him, it's changed him. He is so... less? Just sits in his chair and stares over his fingers at the wall, doesn't even look at me anymore, just stares through me, like there is something beyond, like there is something there only he can see. I tried getting him to answer me, Tom, Aoife, even told him that Grey was dead he just stares.

But we will get to that eventually, but I'll tell you the little that led to this; Manic appeared out of the toilet yesterday as if nothing had actually happened , just bumped into me, and looked confuse, he said one thing I don't know what it means he just said it. "Death is how it ends, how we win, by the end of us. But there's a chance that something is different I know it. or at least I did" he didn't look at me when he said this, more like he was talking to himself. He is just weird, I mean weirder than usual, it's like he's forgotten about Patrick, I can accept it he has just spent three days in the Doctors area, he was always the Fear he was weary of the most, I can't imagine how it was for him. But he needs to sharpen up, he promised to me he would save Patrick, and  I would have thought that takes priority, especially as it's me. Though it seems Grey and his new fascination with the wall takes precedent, I have just about had enough with Manic, if he won't do what he promised he will I'll do it myself, he better not think I'd not give him up for Patrick, he's the only one I would.

Yeah that's about it bye

Friday, 19 October 2012

The girls

They look like they are recovering from a terrible hangover, Kat looks really down and restless, Manic is still missing so she is worried about that. Aoife has become really withdrawn into herself, I don't know why? Maybe it's the stuff those oath breakers gave her, she still has stitches from where she stabbed herself, I try to get her to respond to me but she just looks at me sort of empty and mumbles when I ask her questions, I can barely get her to eat and sleep, I'm worrying about her, and it's all Manic's fault for pissing off fears and experimenting, killing all those proxies. I can't take what he's done to us. I just can't.

Wednesday, 17 October 2012

Hehehe, they're gone now.

I got the oathbreakers, all of them.
Even with my one leg they all went down, one right after I typed up; it was the counselor, sitting all smug like he had done a good job, so naive. It vanished soon after the syringe went in his throat, along with the copious  amount of air, they really guard the dangerous implements from those they are trying to turn into murderers. But I guess it's over now, they almost did to me what they did Manic, but I stayed by his bed with a scalpel looking like the maniac I was suppose to portray, it was the doctor that tucked me in that fell next. He handled me like a glass figurine, like I would crack at the slightest disturbance, too bad they missed the crack they had prised open themselves. He's probably still in the cupboard with that stephascope lodged down his wind pipe, I listened as he choked and tried to pull it out and his heart pounded like a trapped birds bounding off the sides of a glass box, stupid like it's owner.

Two doctors left, the top two, the lead oath breakers of this thing. They died last I wheeled my way along the night corridors the sound of my wheels rasping against the plastic floor, the click as the clocks moved, the tapping that followed me, guess I put it down to my insanity. I went past Aoife, she was asleep I went in, stroked her face, and thought of the stuff I had done, stuff Manic would have done, I'm as bad as him, but that tapping again, I snapped back to the job I had to do. I stroked the hair from her face and kissed her on the forehead, then left the room, along the corridors lit by a single lane of lights. I saw Kat, looking better than I expected; Manic, laying with a bandage around his head, looking blankly out the window, something tugged at the back of my mind to kill him aswell, the reason for all the trouble. Then I remembered who put us here, the oath breakers, their voices filling my ears until I realised that was their actual voices I rolled slightly onto the corner until I saw them and then rolled back until I could only hear them.

Top Doc: What happened with subject and Charlie?
Little piggy: We don't know, Roger is checking the subject is falling asleep properly, so we can check with him how the subject is responding..
TD: I don't care what Roger is doing he is currently dead by the subject! What happened with Charlie Dominic?!
LP: Well, a guess I think we didn't take into account the number of times the target saved the subjects life, and so the subject's sense of 'justice' kicked in. Also, if he has discovered we were who we really are he could have hostile leanings to us, as we put his female companion in danger.
TD: By the plague docs saggy left..... Why did you not account for this, it was a simple enough task?!
LP: I'm sorry Richard, this is not my fault, this is not an easy process, and the psychological elements were your department. That means it's because of you Charlie is dead.
LP: Now, now, we wouldn't want our master to know that you have caused two of your companions death's, so maybe you should walk it off and check on Roger, hmmm?

The footsteps stormed away, he seemed to ignore me, I guessed he was too angry to notice. The other doc was whistling now, I wheeled quietly behind him as he sauntered away. I took the scalpel from the fold of my shirt and when I was in range I severed the ligaments connected to the back of is knees, my did he scream, he pleaded for his life said he'd let us go free, but they lie, he was dead before I put the blade went fully into his scalpel, I saw now as the perfect time to play with the last one, I wheeled into the blood pooling, and wheeled away, it led to Manic room I took Manics knife, it is never far from him, in fact it was on one of the doctors. I heard the running footsteps come to a stop and as I hid in the corner he walked in I opened an entrance to the path, it felt like some of my life left me. The doctor turned to face me and ran like a cornered animal, I twisted out of the way and he tripped over my front leg but grabbed my remaining shoe, as those shadow things Manic talks about came I was slowly pulled in, then the tapping again, the doctor looked hopeful, the cane came down on his hands and they curled and a finger fell off, and he was pulled in, the doctor closed the path, leaving what look like a hand still twitching in place like on the other end the person was in agony.

The doctor turned to me and I heard Manic mumble and Aoife stumbled in onto my lap and curled up, Kat limped in and found Manic and curled into a hollow his body left. The doctor continued to walk to Manic and placed his hand on Manic's shoulder, he tried to shrug it off, the doctor tapped his cane three times the hospital decayed, only word for it. like a human body boils and pustules formed, what looked like blood mixed with some yellow semi liquid oozed from the walls.

We woke up in our house, now repaired, but Manic is still missing.

Oh and Kat is pissed

Sunday, 14 October 2012

I couldn't do it

Kill him that is.

I.....I'm weak, I saw him there I was ready to killl him but.... I might aswell tell you.

I went in last night ready to act, there were few medical staff about to stop me, so would probably put it down to a machine failure, or electrical, Manic would die and I'd be free. So I went into his room to act, the green glow the monitor gave off put his face in a weird perspective, and the breathing thing wheezed, inflating and deflating his lungs, giving him air to live. I turned off the lung but the monitor still showed Manic's heartbeat steady, steadier than mine, them I took the pillow, I saw his chest going up and down, how, how could he have been breathing if he was brain dead, nothing should be working. I positioned myself as best I could near his head and was about to press down, when.

I felt a hand squeeze around my wrist, I barely stopped myself screaming, I looked at Manic's face, it was.. aware, full of that fierce intelligence, he put his finger to his lips. I couldn't have made a sound if I wanted to I was too confused and petrified about what he might do. He just tried to speak but he obviously lost his voice from lack of use, he signaled to a piece of paper and pen by his bed. He tried writing with more success, but it still looked like a child wrote the letters. Initially he drew what looked like a worm wrapped around a stick,  I tried to show I didn't understand so he tried to write a word it looked like 'oatabtearer', I still looked at him in confusion so he tried to speak again. one letter at a time.

O, he rasped, A, there were voices somewhere, T, H, he shuddered a little, B, there were now hurried footsteps that sounded far off, R, E, they were getting closer, A,K, The voices sounded worried and Frantic, Manic kept his steady stare, E, R. He then slumped back on his bed as the door burst open, I hid the paper, I don't know why and just stared into space. The doctors hurried around injecting him with stuff, turning the machine back on. I can't believe I failed, I let my memories get the best of me.

When I saw his face all the times he'd saved me came back, all the wounds he's treated, the nights he's stayed up and kept watch on me the frost as he looked at me through a snowstorm, and a kid hid behind a door, in a cell made for the damned. I couldn't do it, But I must do better, because there is one more thing he has to do to save my life.


Friday, 12 October 2012

To kill a Muse

It would be so simple on simple act, and he'd be gone, He wouldn't be able to hurt us anymore. I would be safe, Aoife would be safe again, since he came back he has caused nothing but trouble since. Would it even be murder? He isn't even awake, they say he is technically brain dead and they offered me the option of turning off the life support, would I even need to have them present, I would need to make sure he was dead if the machines were on then I couldn't smother him, and a knife to the heart or throat would be too conspicuous, if I turn off the machines he should die, then I could make sure with his pillow then, finally I would be free, alive, ME.

I'll do it tomorrow, he can die then, I'll sleep on it if I still think it's a good idea then I'll do it, I can't have Aoife in danger I just can't and with him alive that will never be possible.

Wednesday, 10 October 2012

Ow, Am I the only one awake?

I woke up and found Kat, Aoife and Manic out or, for lack of a better word, insane, too bad Manic isn't awake I was hoping he could fix my leg but the doctors say it was too late to try and reattach the leg, especially given the state it was found,so I am now disabled. Why is it that whenever I try to help Manic I come off the worse, this is the worst, I've lost a fucking appendage, I have suffered so much for Manic, I may leave before he wakes up, but I have to wake for Aoife I can't leave her with Manic, he can't help her anymore. She's better than when he first fixed her, but he will just ruin that I can't allow him to do that to her.

I have a councilor from the hospital, probably over my leg for them to make sure I don't suffer from the thing Aoife has, and won't recede into myself. He tries to make me see that it isn't anyone's fault, but I know, I know that it was Grey who tore my leg off, it was Grey who battered Kat, it was Grey who made Aoife lose it. And.... it was Manic that brought him into the house, it was Manic who didn't kill him when he said he would, it was Manic who didn't cure the bastard before hand.

I guess Manic did after all though, I can't find Grey anywhere in the hospital, and none of the staff knew about him, Manic did something right for once. I looked through this blog to check if the others had woken up, or if Aoife posted before she went. But I just saw Manic's post before the event.

I am tired of writing now, all the talking and pain killers has meant that I don't stay awakefor long, but the same thought goes through my head, Manic's fault, Manic's fault, Manic's fault, Manic's fault, Manic's fault, Manic's fault, Manic's......

Sunday, 7 October 2012

*Cough Cough*

Ow, everything hurts, Grey jumping up and down on me rightly fucked me up, doctors say I have a broken clavical, or lay man terms collar bone, so I'm typing this one handed as if I move my other arm well I just descend into agony.

But... that isn't important right now, I woke up rough 2 or 3 days ago and from reading the blog just now it would have been straight after Aoife.... went. She's still alive but the 'doctors' say she is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress, but I think we can all doubt that. I went sneaking about after they confirmed I was 'fit', and came upon a pair of them talking.

D1: How are the patients?
D2: Well the girl that came in is currently under the influence of TX7, so aslong as we maintain a reasonable dose we should be fine.
D1: The Muse?
D2: He succumbed to the effects of the solution easily and is showing all the outward signs of PVS.
D1: Good, what are we doing about the other girl and boy?
D2: I believe the girl will have to be sedated I doubt she'd be suitable for our procedure, she has too close of a emotional connection with the target to make it viable.
D1: So we are assuming the boy is the candidate we will use?
D2: Almost certainly, he has reason to distrust and hate the target, this means we can mold him if needs be to our purpose.
D1: Then we'll proceed to phase two, go check the girl maybe we can plant a seed before we sedate her as a backup, but if not sedate her, now.
D2: As you wish.

I played along with their game, but if they are following this they will know and my time left awake is short.

It's  up to Tom now, I hope he can do it.

Friday, 5 October 2012

Really? I'm not awake yet

This must mean Grey killed me, or injured me so badly that I'm unconscious so unable to heal myself, or worse still a fear has me, but then they wouldn't want me unconscious they would want to gloat because they got one over on me.

But in case of the event it is a fear I will post here some of the theoretical weapons against some of the fears, the main one I assume would do it is the Plague Doctor, if it is Slendy then I have shown some of my experiments against him so hopefully you would be able to use them.

Plague doctor: PRE 12, Main weapon being disease but seems to posses the powers other fears do, such as super natural strength and speed. Now as I once pointed out one of my theories was to use a pair of marigolds and bleach. H2O2, hydrogen Peroxide, most commonly known as bleach, as you are aware the simplest peroxide, and a strong oxidiser, meaning it affects the cell membrane of cells inherently killing the cell, it can even cause internal bleeding in Humans when a large enough quantity is inhaled.

Also considering the medieval appearance would suggest you could wear a gas mask to 'clean' the air and mask horrible odours. Again perception, thought I'd forgotten about that didn't you, such as fire it kills most pathogenic bacteria and viruses, denaturing and killing them. So molotovs and  gas masks should defeat it and a pair of rubber gloves, now won't that look dystopian. :), his cane is also an integral part of his appearance, so maybe if you part him from that you could impede him in someway.

Dying Man: PRE 15,  Infects individual who kills a host body, method of which is unknown, it is also unusual amoungst his siblings, as he doesn't have supreme strength, his form of contagion and and killing is to posses the body of another and slowly causing the body to decay, and when it attacks if you kill the body he is inhabiting, then you become a version of the dying man, and continuing the infection.

However this fragmented nature of himself causes him to be weak so perhaps merely wearing a bio hazard suit, or if you're budget doesn't allow that a gas mask a wet suit and rubber gloves. Fire and extreme temperatures should increase the rate of decomposition, and increasing the amount of oxygen in the air, inadvertently this may cause an explosion, so this is inadvisable.

Wooden Girl: PRE 05, a wooden fear, sometimes said to be quite a beautiful girl inside a wooden shell, this is still important, since again fire could be another weapon against a fear, maybe a pair of scissors or a saw could be used but you would have to get close to use these two, so these are inadvisable as the probability of you becoming one of her, ummmmm, concubines is high.

Maybe logic is the best weapon here, most marionettes usually have masters pulling their strings, so insinuating that she is merely a toy for some greater beings bidding may incite a reaction you could manipulate, perhaps even insinuating that the higher being is Archy or the Blind Man. She would do the puppet thing where they maintain they are a to paraphrase 'a real boy', this will cause her to foget to try to bind you, even come close enough for you to strike against the wooden nympho.

Grand Father: PRE 04, this is more for the sake of covering all bases, he could try and maintain me for 'my own good', but you could possibly try to break any of his appendages, his old age coupled with perception should prove a form of weapon, but he's clever, he's a very clever fear, probably the most.

But I doubt he'd maintain me against my will.

Archangel: PRE 03, He is a weird one, he chooses to mess with the great game just for fun, and he has two juxtaposing names, his main name is the Archangel, but he also is called Azreal, a demon, so perception induced by religious icons or demonic rituals would induce no effect upon him.

But if he has got me he would probably manipulate me to mess with the great game, and if he doesn't, well...........let me die, there's no use trying to risk your life trying to save me from him.

These are the few fears I believe who would keep me against my will, either for my own (seeming) safety, or try to kill me, I believe Slendy would be too wary, and if one of these fears are already monitoring me then I believe I should be safe from him.

However you may be wondering why I'm telling you this, well isn't it obvious, Find me, fight the fear, the notes should help, and wake me the fuck up I need to keep fighting.

For all of you, try to avoid what I do,

Stay Safe, Stay Sharp and Stay Alive

Wednesday, 3 October 2012

WAIT! Manic's not responding

Manic seems to have fallen back under but his eyes are still open, and he blinks, but apart from that he seems to be brain dead. The doctors say it's a type of persistent vegetative state, and may be a reaction to the blow on the head, so his moment of apparent lucidity was a one off, the thing is they say Kat is healing fine, but she still looks as terrible as when she came in, she still looks like she's at death's door not on the road to recovery. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, after all this time Manic's paranoia must have rubbed off on me, but he was never paranoid without good cause. I mean he didn't trust that Paul's guys friend/brother Ryan (Yeah that's right I've been reading, what else is there to do in this dire place), he helped him realise the reality of his family, Manic was wary of his brother because he knew what he was capable of. So maybe I'm not being paranoid, maybe my gut is just trying to tell me something, I'm just going to check something.

Just checked in the morgue area for Grey, they didn't even have any bodies and I went to speak to the people at reception and asked about the man in Grey's room they said the room had been empty for a week, weirdly. Curious firstly Grey disappears without a trace, and Manic has regressed in to a potato, Kat still hasn't got any color back, and Tom, well, Tom looks closer to death than ever, yet they still say that they should be getting better. I think we have a mystery on our hands gang, I'll go this way and you lot go that way. God, I must be tired I'm quoting a cartoon jock, Slender Man take me now, KIDDING! kidding, I have too much to live for, I'm too young, I must say this coffee that the doctors are giving me is really something I must find out what brand they buy, hmmm, my head feels fuzzy.

This doctor man is very helpful, but he's quite tall and he's dress really funny, sorry Mr Doctor man, I have to go find clues, to my mystery machine, I want a sandwich, a big one, with blackjack and hookers, and... and , and more blackjack. Ooppsy Oh no someone spilt red paint, thats' not nice, Oh I got loads of it on my dress, MY DOctor MAn someone Spilt Red paint someone should clean it up. No I don't need a coat Mr Doctor Man I'm not cold

Tuesday, 2 October 2012

They're still out

The doctors say that they should make a full recovery, but they think Manic may have some problems because of the head trauma, and Tom may have some mental problems when he wakes up and realises his leg is missing. I fell asleep and dreamed of the event I woke up and saw that the doctors were restraining me, they said I had been screaming and thrashing, so they were going to restrain me and do a few tests, but they've just attributed it to post traumatic stress, they said that I may want to keep a more regular sleep pattern as I hadn't slept since the night before the event. I went to Grey's room to check on him, as a ending to see if he died due to what Manic gave him. I went into the room he was suppose to be in but no one was there, I asked the nurse who was in the room, she said with a grave face that he had gone on, so I guess that's the end of that story.

Wait ... Manic just woke up... he's motioning at the computer and pulling me away.

My head really hurts I feel like I've been hit by big elephants, but I guess I am alive it's alright, I read above GRey dead I feel bad I couldn't save him. I don't feel safe here, I just have a feeling, I'll leave Aoife to finish off, Mother of Lydon my head.

Well K, they're not all still out, but Kat and Tom still are, I just thought I'd write this to keep you all informed, though I don't see why this small crew would even care.


Monday, 1 October 2012

After report

He...Hey, this is Aoife, because, well I'm the only one awake, the only one completely safe, not in some form of critical condition. Kat, she has sever blood loss, internal as well, and a lot of broken bones, Manic, he's got so many cuts and bruises, he doesn't have internal bleeding but the doctors believe he has some for of head injury. Tom..... Oh god Tom, he lost his leg has had his gut torn open, he is hooked up to more machines than I've ever seen attached to one person. Grey well..... we'll get to that.

I'll tell you what happened and why I'm in a state to write this, we transferred Grey to a cage Tom made shortly after Manic posted, at 10 O'clock Grey turned and we watched as he writhed and contorted into the shape of a large wolf not as large as the one Manic saw but still large enough for us to be wary, Manic deemed the mixture ready for use about 11 O'clock. At 11:30 we applied it, at 11:45 Grey broke free from the cage, I'm not even sure how it happened, one moment he was in the cage the next he wasn't and the door was off it's hinges, Manic, Kat and Tom all took up positions like they were ready to fight, Grey's muscles twitched and he bound towards Tom, I still see the look on his face as the wolf went for his throat, then Manic tackled the wolf in mid air and started to wrestle it, the wolf slashing at him with it's claws and biting with it's teeth, Kat went to his aid taking out a knife I recognised slightly, she placed it between the wolfs shoulder blades, and it reared up with a howl, almost standing up. Manic kicked it in the chest so it fell on it's back, forcing the knife in deeper, he grabbed a large thick belt that was lying about the place, and forced the beast head down to its chest whilst also using his knees to pin the legs up to the same area. He somehow got the belt wrapped around the legs, back and snout, so it couldn't move about with it's front end, he leapt up and the wolf tried to worm out of the binding, Manic grabbed another belt and wound it around the same area. He got Kat and Tom to help him lift up the wolf and move it to the cave and close it again but I heard a muffled crack as the leather straps broke and I heard Kat scream as she hit the wall and the wolf landed on top of her she screamed as I saw the claws come out, the wolf didn't seem to want to use them since it just kept jumping up and down on her until she ended up just crying, just crying, My, she was begging for help, I couldn't.... I can't.....

Sorry, I... I just came back the memories came back, the doctors say it's shock, I just think I'm actually just too weak to do anything, I saw Tom and Manic hurriedly talking about something, Tom looked grim and then violently nodding, Manic looked at me and mouthed 'good luck, I'm sorry'. Tom attacked the Wolf but the wolf was ready this time and whilst it moved a foot it was on Tom and left Kat unconscious, I thought she was dead I saw her eyes shut and blood coming out the corner of her mouth. Tom shouted to me, "Run, Hide. The cage, hide in the cage in case we fail". I went to the cage and bolted the door but not locking it, the wolf shouldn't be able to use the bolt, I saw Tom as he was battered by the wolf, I saw as his leg was bitten and torn off he was jumped on clawed I thought he was going to die, he still might, the wolf appeared to get bored with Tom and looked like it was about to bite out his throat. Manic bound down the stairs, and rugby tackled the wolf off of Tom, I was so happy, Manic stuck another syringe in the wolf and it seemed to gasp, and twitched again like it was convulsing, Manic got up and stumbled over to the cage, but when he put his hand on the bolt the wolf seemed to get up , and was trembling alot but seemed intent on killing Manic. He used the knife I saw Kat holding, and wedged it so I couldn't open it.

I tried to open the bolt, tried to take out the knife but I just saw Manic wrestle the Wolf as it tried to throw off Manic, until it got to the stairs and I saw Manic hit his head on the bottom step, hence the head injury, I saw his grip slip and the wolf stand up, again I thought he was dea....d. The wolf ambled over to me in the cage and I thought it was going to tear open the door, but as it raised it's claw, it slumped to the ground, and let out a breath. I didn't get out of the cage until 3 in the morning, where I guess the door had been put on badly I found them and called the Ambulance, and told them it was an emergency, I still haven't seen grey he could be dead for all I care. My god, these lot look terrible, I really hope they don't die, please don't Die Tom.


Sunday, 30 September 2012


It is a few hours until Sundown and the moon will be out, I am writing this so that in case something goes wrong you know the affect of the plant in proximity to werewolfs.

Grey has become increasingly aggressive and agitated whilst we've had the plant, and actually tried to attack one of us, I'm not telling you who it was, but since he's still alive you can guess who it was. This behavior may be due to the proximity of the full moon but regardless precautions have been made we've soundproofed  the entire house in case Grey makes so much noise he draws attention to us, and with him shouting so much whilst being strapped to the chair it's a real probability, he broke the leather belt I was using to restrain his wrists, so we attained some handcuffs for the moment, but what we'll do when he changes I don't, and the stuff isn't ready yet, so I will have to leave it to the last minute. Hence the post, Grey may get me and take his own life out of guilt. He's yelling again  he must have chewed through the gag again, well I'll be seeing you tomorrow hopefully, if not.

Stay Safe, Stay Sharp and Stay Alive,

-Manic Muse

Thursday, 27 September 2012

Damn Werewolves

I got it, though as you expect there was someone protecting it, well something it's hard to call the thing I saw human anymore, the wolf had taken over, even in it's 'human' form you could see the wolf in his eyes, he warned me to turn back and leave, well that didn't happen.

Werewolf: Turn back, from this place, I don't not wish to kill you.
M: Why would you kill me this is a plant that can cure you, don't you want to be free of this curse that has been placed upon you, surely this is not the life you wish to live?
W: The wolf demands you die, lest it die, the wolf sustains me and makes me strong, I must guard this plant from any who would wish to use it to kill the wolf.
M: You know I have come too far and lost too much to be killed by a werewolf, so if you wanted to live you should turn and leave.

I saw the man and the wolf battle with each other in the mans head, the man turns away apparently heading my warning but not accepting my help. I heard a sharp crack and the mans was facing me but his feet were pointing backwards, the wolf was evident in his face.

Wolf: NO! *It barked* you shall not kill me or one of my kin, you men are weak, we wolves are strong and proud, we will not run from battle like our shells do, tonight you die.
M: You think so, do you?

I actually saw my first transformation, his legs seemed to crack and muscles warp, his nose grew with his mouth so he had a snarling mouth, his stomach distended and his chest expanded his arms did the same thing as his legs now all his body seemed to expand until it was a wolf up to the bottom of my ribs.

M: Well, this will be fun won't it, to the death I presume?

The wolf snarled, I guess in agreement.

From the size I guess the subject was an old wolf being more than twice the size of grey, and if they grow every year they are alive this would be expected.

He jumped at me and I rolled away, with creatures that large their size is as much a hindrance as it is an advantage. Proven when the wolf skidded about two feet before it got it's claws in for traction. I saw from the gouge marks in the earth that the claws were extremely long. 

I  had a knife in laid with alot of silver, cost a shit load I can tell you that, and a lump of lead large enough to kill a chimera. So I took out the knife first and started my attack, every time I dodged it I got a shot at its underside even castrated it once I think, though it was hard to tell cause it always healed and nothing I did caused it any lasting damage, except a few scars possibly due to the presence of silver. I had a chance of killing it in one fell swoop but it was risky I fell back, the wolf stood over me ready to strike I took my bag as if to protect myself, it went for my throat, I took my bag and shoved it down the gaping maw, the teeth closed around my arm severing enough muscle as to make it useless, well almost, I barely got my arm out and put the knife through the top and bottom jaw and used a rock to bend the end so it stayed in place.

The wolf tried to cough up the lead and dislodge the knife but it couldn't do wither I stumbled to the place the plant grew there seemed to be enough I took it put it in a bag and put it in my pocket as I didn't exactly have my bag anymore in my susceptible state I must have accessed an old part of my mind because my arm started to itch and it healed itself. I kept telling myself, everything is possible, nothing is certain. I heard the wolf choke and opened my eyes saw that it's movement were becoming more subdued and was reverting back to human form. I walked over and took the knife out of the jaw I wouldn't make him suffer.

Wolf/Man: Thank you, I'm free.

With that I put the blade through his skull he twitched and stopped I took an hour to bury him then left with my prize, it is currently being made three more days and Grey is cured, hopefully. Though he does seem strange since I brought the plant back, he seems really hostile, I'll have to keep an eye on him, this might not end well.

Stay Safe, Stay Sharp and Stay Alive,

-Manic Muse

Monday, 24 September 2012

Uncomfortable Questions

Why am I alive?

That's what Grey asked the other day, I had to lie to him, if he found out that I had re cursed him I don't think he'd be too pleased. He confronted me with this whilst I was watching Television, I have a lot of time on my hand since I was injured so badly and I can't get the 'antidote' for a couple of days.

M: Well, maybe it was the energy given off by Slendy so it inhibited your abilities whilst there was enough residual radiation. So therefore when he left for a long enough time your abilities restarted.
G: Really is that what happened?
M: Well I think that's what happened, why, what else could it have been?
G: I just think it's a bit suspect that I was dead for I think what must have been a couple of hours, so unless you did something really sneaky I wouldn't have wanted you to do, I find your theory more than lacking.
M: If you're accusing me of making you a werewolf again just say it
G: I'm not accusing you of anything, just saying I think there is something more to it than what you say.
M: Well, from what I saw that's all I can think it could be.
G: Hmmm, well I guess I can't ask more from you.

*Grey leaves the room then Kat piques up from beside me*

K: You know you shouldn't lie to him, he trusts you so much and you're abusing that, why don't you just tell him the truth?
M: As you said he trusts me, if I told him the truth he may go crazy, do you really want that wolf coming out and causing trouble for us. We have to protect ourselves and Tom and Aoife we aren't the only people.
K: I still think you should tell him, he's your friend you owe him the truth at least.
M: He doesn't need to know, I'll cure him regardless before teh full moon, he's better off not knowing.
K: Well, atleast be careful, people like grey don't like being lied to and so if he finds out you've been keeping it from him and you aren't the one to tell him, it may not go well for you.
M: Well, aren't you cheerful today.

So it's a short post today, not much to report.

Stay Safe Stay Sharp and Stay Alive,

-Manic Muse

Friday, 21 September 2012

the attack

My God, how many proxies were there, how did the authorities not report that, how did they all ignore it, there must have been I don't know 40 or 50 proxies all gathered outside, with our old friend Slendy with them.

Two sharp cracks, one of them had a gun, yeah,

The gun totting proxy called me out as revenge and retribution for all of my crimes, Grey came down after the gun shots and asked what was going on, he didn't look that good, I saw the scars on his shoulder and stomach for the first time, they were large, but he also looked quite ill, he doesn't even wait to cook his meat these days. And he looks like he is ready to attack any one of us, and is quite irritable I have come so close to kicking him out so many times.

So this proxy called me out  and who was I to disappoint.

I went out to confront them with everyone huddled in the doorway and the proxies assembled before me
amongst them Slendy stood, then the really annoying proxy said in a self important tone.

Prick: You Rogue proxy Manic Muse are charged with the assault of 206 proxies, of which you murdered 154 of them. Therefore by the authority granted to me by our Father, as Overseer of the Northern London Area, Sentence you to termination on order of our Father, who has come to ensure this order. Do you have any last words before you are escorted to the designated  termination point?

M: Yes, Come have a go if you think your hard enough.

*He seemed to find this slightly annoying as his expression hardened*

Prick: So be it.

* I say to Kat,* When you hear me say so turn and run into the house, I don't care what you hear after hat don't look.
K: But...
M: Do it.

I walk forwards and one of the proxies comes forwards, and I punch him in the shoulder then dislocate his arm, one down, two down, I take the knife from one of them, 3, 4, 5, Bang.

Prick: That is enough you will come with us now or I will shoot you where you stand.

I don't know what happened next, but Grey started to change I heard a sound akin to bones breaking, and muscles tearing, an animal dying, I saw Grey contorted in some........ impossible ways, I can't describe how, but a wolf stood where he was a minute later. The Prick didn't seem to notice this cause I saw him about to pull the trigger, All I saw next was his bottom half fall down and hit the ground, Grey was now working his way through the proxies until Slender Man took him and threw him against a tree, I heard a yelp and Grey stopped moving. I then saw him in front of me again looking pissed.

M: So here we are again we need to stop meeting like this.

He reached down with one of his tentacles and squeezed my waist so hard I swear my intestines almost came out one end and my lungs the other. Brought me to his eye level like he would to make a point.

S: Try using your little weapons now, even if you do I have my proxies here you won't get through all of them.

M: Maybe,  but I might as well use my little toys one more time.   NOW!

I stabbed the syringe into the Slender Man's  'skin' and depressed the syringe, I closed my eyes as Sub- Mixture 6 coursed through his system, I felt him spasm and I felt the ground next, and heard screaming of all tones and pitches, it was anarchy and then, then I fell unconscious.

By the time I woke up, I saw all the bodies littered the front garden, and Slendy was gone, I saw smoke in the back garden and I also saw Grey (now in human form against the tree), I crawled toward him as I thought my legs were broken, because of the amount of pain I was in. I shook him he seemed to rouse a little I shook him again.

G: Hey dude, did we win?
M: Yeah we won, why did you do that, you didn't need to.
G: Yes I did, if I didn't there would have been no chance of you curing me would there.
M: But.... But..... You could of died.
G: It feels like I'm close to dying now
M: No, no you'll be fine.
G: I've always been able to tell when you were lying.
M: I'm not lying I'll save you, like I said I would, I'll fucking save you.
G: No Manic, no you won't, don't you see I am free I'm not healing, the Slender Man killed me, I can be free from this curse at last.
M: Don't think like that, I can heal you, I can make you better.
G: You can rebuild me huh, So we have the technology do we.
M: What?
G; *He chuckles* Never mind, but you know what sort of damage has been done to me, my spine is broken I can't move my legs, 4 broken ribs, 3 on my left, 1 on my right. Punctured lung, feels like my heart is about to burst. Don't worry, I want it this way, to be free.
M: No I won't let you die due to me again, I can't, I won't have your death on my conscience again.

* I put my hands on him and try to heal him like I used to do, Grey looked slightly expectant, nothing happened, nothing changed*

G: * He chuckles again, excepts he coughs up blood this time as well* Manic, you always smart, but you're not smarter than death. Good bye Brother.

He slumped against me, his heart beat gone. I shook him, he didn't wake up,

M: No, come on, NO!

K: Manic, what happened what... *I guess she saw Grey and stopped* Is he gone?
M: Yes.
K: I'm sure he's in a better place.
M: I hope so.
K: At least he doesn't have to have you tearing chunks out of him all the time now I suppose.
M: Wait, maybe....
*I started running to the house*
K: Manic what are you doing?
M: Not smarter than death, Pah, I outwitted it once I can fucking do it again.

I took the last tissue sample I had from Grey, I checked them, they still had the lycanthropic hallmarks.

I was outside again. I injected them into his heart if I could just get that working. I pound his chest getting it pumping.

K: No Manic stop.
M: Why I won't let him die for me again, not this time, I can save him.
K: But why should you?
M: What do you mean, I can save him I have his old werewolf cells if they still convert old tissue then they can repair him.
K: But he died human like he wanted, if you bring him back ass a werewolf do you really think he'll thank you.
M: But I can cure him after I save him.
K: But he's at peace now.
K: Well, if you know best try, and save him, but if you fail you'll feel bad that you lost, if you succeed then you'll be pissed cause Grey would be pissed at you, but what do you care what I think. I'm not important in anyway.

*I start pumping again, I must have done it for an hour, it got dark before he stirred again, I heard crack as vertebra snapped back in place, as ribs mended and his breathing, he opened his eyes*

G: Wha... What, if this is heaven I'll be royally pissed.
M: No not heaven.
G: Then.... Why ain't I dead?
M: Cause I have the fucking technology.

*Grey laughs*

We spent yesterday resting, God knows we need it, all the bodies are gone, either burnt or thrown into the path.

So my most heart felt parting words for a while,

Stay Safe, Stay Sharp and Stay Alive,

-Manic Muse

Tuesday, 18 September 2012


As I can't seem to do anything for Grey at this moment in time I have reverted to my old project Kat seems to be happier with this, Tom has made little progress as little as we were making before, but hopefully it should work. Maybe I could incorporate it with my project for Grey, that may cause a more lasting change but looking at the components I think it would run into the same problems as the others, namely rejection or being combated and negated.

I think, I shall wait a while longer before revealing the project in it's entirety, as proxies probably read this I know this as yesterday one, just one was just sitting outside with a cricket bat.
I gave him the choice to run, to not be another one of my victims to go back to his kin and he would live, he charged at me as always I just sidestepped him and caught his arm and took the bat from his hand and threw it into the bushes.

M: Leave.
Proxy: No.
P: No.
M: You're leaving here one way or another either with your life or without it, your choice.
P: The latter's the one I came for.
M: What do you mean, you want me to kill you?
P: Yes.
M: Why did you come to me?
P: Because you're infamous, you've killed so many proxies and runners  I thought you'd do it without asking any questions, if I just attacked you then you would do it. But obviously that didn't work. Just kill me.
M: Why?
P: Because I can't take it anymore, that Thing I serve, enslaved to, it hurts all the time I never wanted this, I only wanted to protect my sister, I didn't want to kill them, I hear them scream when I close my eyes, see their faces in my dreams. Imagine the families I destroyed in order to protect my own. Kill me, it's the only way I can think they'll remain safe.
M: How old are you?
P: 16
M: 16? Too young, too soft. How long ago?
P: 18 months, 3 weeks, 4days.
M: How many?
P: 2
M: *I chuckle automatically at this* 2, your age?
P: One was the other was an old man that tried to help me but I had to kill him too.
M: Kid, do you know how many people I've killed, how long I've been part of this shit?
P: Since you were 6, and No.
M: Neither do I, I see all my victims faces too, I'm too scared to count, because I know the number would be too high for me to live with. I don't want to add yours to my list.
P: Then what do I do? I can't let him kill me.
M: Why not?
P: It's not on my terms.
M: Why wouldn't it be.
P: Because I didn't choose to serve and die for him I was forced to do it, he will win if he kills me.
M: But if I kill you, then you win, how does that work?
P: I choose to come to you, you aren't that Thing, you will understand.
M: Nothing is different only one of the beings is mortal, you wouldn't win.
P: If you don't kill me, I'll just come back again and again, until you do, so do it, KILL ME!
M: No.

*Kat comes out at this point probably to investigate the noise*
P: If you don't I'll come after her and I'll hurt her.
M: I'd like to see you try, and it wouldn't be me you would have to worry about.
What's your name Kid?
P: *looks apprehensive*....... James
M: Your sister's?
P: Jane
M: Your Parent's?
P: Dominic and Emma.
M: The place you live?
P: Bath.
M: Keep thinking about those things, your home, what it's like on rainy days, sunny days, good days, bad days, think of what it means to you.

*I was advancing on the kid all this time, and just came to him now*
M: Close your eyes

He seemed to do this which barely contained excitement, and quivered with it, I put my hand on his shoulder and he flinched a bit but didn't withdraw, this kid was ready to die.

M: Too young to die, young enough too live.

He tried to pull away at this moment but I kept my grip firm and did the same thing to him I did to Tom and Aoife.

M: Sleep now, you're safe, they  can't haunt you anymore.

 I took him home, hopefully he's free now.

K: What happened to you Manic, you don't do that they'll be coming for him and you again, you handed him a death sentence.
M: Haven't you learnt anything from being around me. I didn't sentence him to death. I sentenced him to life. I'll protect him if I think he's in danger, he deserves the life we never got.
K: I hope this won't come back on us.

*I smile my cheeky smile*
M: Of course not my dear.

I still don't like the box, but I'm still quite busy, so that is it for today, maybe someone will die next time,

see you next time on That's so Slendy,

Stay Safe, Stay Sharp and Stay Alive,

-Manic Muse

Sunday, 16 September 2012

Attempt two


Cyanide, reasoning behind it being that again the highly respiring lycanthrope cells would take in the cyanide and die, hopefully taking in all of the cyanide leaving any human cells that remain.


I took a larger tissue sample from grey to test it, I also took some of my own cells and put them in with Grey's to see how they interacted. I put these into a dish and applied the cyanide to the cells, the lycanthrope  cells did indeed absorb more of the cyanide, as they seemed to lose their rigidity, whilst my unaffected cells seemed healthy, but at this point the lycanthrope cells seemed to move towards my cells, then the lycanthrope cells took in my cells this seemed to fix them, using the materials to fix themselves.


Unsuccessful, Lycanthropic cells are too hardy to be affected by normal materials, I think I must wait for the wolf death to bloom so I can use it.

In other news I got the answer to the riddle,

A weapon,
Again Muse you reason well and seek the answer true. But riddles are riddles, while many are put forward few are then solved. And for you Muse I'm the hardest of all. One more riddle you'll solve for me then one question hopefully.

"He who makes it, sells it,
  He who buys it, doesn't use it,
  He who uses it, doesn't know it,
  What is it?"
" A coffin"

"Now my question, probably the hardest of all, what am I?"

"A box"


"A box!"


"Fuck you then, there is other things I could be doing"

I've left the box there, I have more important things to do.

Stay Safe, Stay Sharp and Stay Alive.

Thursday, 13 September 2012

The library

Was uneventful, no Bone spiders, No army personnel to deal with, I'm surprised it was so easy, it was almost too easy like they wanted me to find it, I would be surprised if I hadn't already spent what felt like an eternity in it.

I came across the section concerning the proxies of the fears Some of them were written in the fear tongue, I learned a part of it during my imprisonment in these dimensions so I could converse with a fear if I wished, and I know their fear names.

I looked for the book containing the language, and I took the Book I saw named Der Großman, as far as I'm aware the oldest and most well documented term for him (Unless you subscribe to the Dark Harvest thought that his name is Gorelehotep). Now I read the book, and mainly it told the history of the being in this dimension, he may have a name in another dimension separate from ours where he goes by another name, which also resides in this library. I came to the part regarding proxies of the Slender Man, I saw Agents, Hallowed (Numb as I call them), Revenant, skimming them, then I saw one 'Lycanthrope' it told the history of the proxy from the beserkers and such, from the Greek's who believed they were sorcerers that wore animal hides, a reference to the native Americans and the Mai-cob. spanning millenia to even the Meso- Americans and Mayans.

It talk about some ways to kill the proxy if it become too dangerous to keep it alive and kills more servants than it does hunted.

It mentions a substances that from the language says Lupus mortem,   wolf's death, it doesn't specify whether it reverses the change or kills the affected person. I looked for other ones but yet again none specified if they cured or killed, or both. And I don't know what any of the things that are mentioned are, My best chance is Lupus Mortem, it gave a slight description of a long stalk with leaves covered in what looks like fur, it grows 4 days before a full moon and requires 4 days to be effective against the target, it grows under covered areas  by a stream of pure water, though the nearest werewolf will defend it till teh death for fear of losing his power, and will change regardless of the moon. And yet again it grow's most prosperously in Ireland, fucking Grand.

So I guess that's my plan of action, go to Ireland, find a rare plant that grows one day a month, fight any werewolfs nearby, hopefully stop the Slender Man also killing me and the rest of them, Oh and stop Kat and Aoife killing each other.

So much Fun.

Stay Safe, Stay Sharp and Stay Alive,

-Manic Muse

Wednesday, 12 September 2012

Attempt one


'Grey' *Birth name redacted*


Lycanthropy (Werewolf)


Bodily fluid (Blood) deposited in side wound (Bite to neck, and gored stomach due to claw)


Proxy T-984403, known as blood moon, or Canis, real name Peter Cassidy.

Test: (Initiated by Manic Muse *Birth name redacted*) Sample of blood was taken to asses how different it is from Homo Sapien, Genes markedly different denotes possible sub species Homo lupus. Initial substance silver Nitrate combined with a binding antigen to facilitate endocytosis into cells, with diluted wolf's bane also known as aconite, monks hood or Devils helmet, considering in higher doses it is poisonous, with a lower dose it may attack the cells and clear those most severely affected by the ailment, which require more oxygen and such to respire, hence absorbing more of the substances.

Result: Initial observation proved encouraging, with severely affected lupus cells absorbing the substance and dying. 2 hours later, after (I assume) the toxins leached out of the tissues cells reanimated, and showed more characteristics of wolf tissue.

Conclusion: Either continuous injection or treatment would be needed to cleanse the system, or a higher doses over longer periods of time. problems comes when the silver and Wolf's Bane reach the peak of their toxicity which would kill the subject permanently, as liver would never repair due to the presence of the silver in the cells, neither would the kidneys.

First Mixture: Failure

Personal Note: Subject Grey did not acquire his curse through old medieval or in ways that the Greeks, Romans and other Eurasian and Nordic people thought a person became a werewolf, he was infected the modern way through a bite which was only reported during the 18th or 19th century. In these accounts there there is no form of salvation from the curse unlike the medieval sources say. This may mean that the sources would be unreliable and useless concerning his condition.

I may need to visit the library, to see if I could find any reference to a cure or inhibitor of the affliction. hopefully the worst I will run into is Zeke or one of his army lot, hopefully.

Stay Safe Stay Sharp and Stay Alive,

-Manic Muse

Tuesday, 11 September 2012

A strange Encounter

Well I don't know how to react to this but Grey came yesterday, He looked rough, as hell, I guess I know now.

Some background on this guy, looking back you may have thought from the context of the post where I first saw him it was Sirus, he's dead I checked that. Grey......... He was my partner when I was a proxy, the closest thing I could call to a friend in that organisation, he was in essence my brother when Sirus couldn't. He died 1 month before I left, or I thought he did, I made a poor decision chasing a group of runners, or were they cultists, I can't remember, and my poor decision ended up with Grey having a massive knife sticking out of his chest, I held him as he died, cried for the first time in a while, watched as he choked on his own blood, as he quivered and fell still, as the life left his eyes.

He turned up to my door, I saw him and greeted him with the same hostility as before:

M: How did you survive?
G: Luck I think, pure unadulterated luck.
M: But how?
G: Actually....... That's why I need your help Manic, you're the only one I trust to do this, the only one I believe who could do it.
M: Do what?
G: Cure me.
M: Of what?
G: Do you remember I went on that mission without you to Tahiti, hunting down a rough proxy, well you remember those stories we heard about the Slender Man creating proxies with powers and abilities akin to creatures found in our mythology.
M: Yeah, but what does that have to do with it?
G: Well, They weren't stories, the proxy I hunted was what you would call a werewolf, but he didn't walk upright, he just turned into a large wolf. The reason he went rough was because he couldn't control the wolf when he changed, but he managed to keep it under control by forcing himself to change and giving the wolf enough freedom that he didn't force himself out during full moons it was more a yearning to be free, but it didn't force a change. Now I caught up with him when he was in wolf form, so I couldn't negotiate with him, I only found out he was a werewolf after the mission.
M: Is there any point to this story?
G I'm getting to that. Now as I said he was in wolf form hen I caught him, but he didn't want to go, the wolf didn't want to be cage, I don't know who controlled whom at that point of time, I think the man was mostly gone by that point. So it ran at me and went for my throat, and as you had always said to keep your knife out when attacking something, I brought it up but it bit into my shoulder unimpeded, like nothing had touched it. I remembered the stories heard and remembered  the silver operator symbol in my pocket, I stabbed it again with the knife but shoved the symbol in before the wound closed, which it did, sealing the symbol in, the beast writhed and thrashed bleeding everywhere, including onto me. It bit half way through my leg, gored me with a claw across the stomach. I thought I was going to die.
M: But I saw you a week after that mission you looked fine.
G: *Small chuckle* I was picked up by a scouting team coming to see if I succeeded, they said I was found next to the mans human corpse in the morning, and noticed I was healing extremely quickly. They didn't think anything of it, so just let me off before a week that was when you saw me. A few weeks later the full moon came, I was in a random barracks for a mission when I turned I don't remember anything except the pain as I changed, until the morning when most of the proxies I was staying with were dead.

M: Wait you are telling me that you are a werewolf, an occult creature that is turned by the full moon, and has weakness to silver?
G: Pretty much.
M: You want me to cure you of lupinism?
G: Yes.
M: And how am I suppose to do that, I'm getting chased by fears who are staying away only because they are scared of the Sub- Mixtures, and the proxies are too scared of me to try and attack me, but that may change, they may find antidotes, and then I'm up shit creek with a bleeding paddle. I have no starting point to cure it, if there is one.
G: Then kill me.
M: What?
G: Kill me, I can't do this any longer, there were two full moons last month, it almost killed me, I killed more people.
M: Then kill yourself, I have too much blood on my hands to add yours.* I turn away to go and lean against the sofa with my back still to him*
G:  I can't I'm not brave enough, I put a gun with silver bullets to my head but I can't pull the trigger, So Manic if you're not going to kill me, you should cure me, unless you're like the proxies you condemn.
M: * I turn and see him slumped and dejected* I'll try but if I don't have a cure by the next full moon..
G: The 30th.
M: Then you are either gone or I kill you, clear.
G: *Massive grin* Very.
M: You also have to sleep on the sofa, and don't piss off Aoife or Kat stuff is hard enough around here without WW III.

So now I have a werewolf under my roof, I can't catch a break can I, For fucks's sake.

Stay Safe, stay Sharp and Stay Alive,

-Manic Muse

Sunday, 9 September 2012

Kat here

Hi, I don't know how to start this off apart from saying sorry to Aoife, she isn't really talking to me, and with Manic and Tom doing their thing I have no one to talk to, so I'm talking to all you faceless people, yay.

I don't even know what to say to you all, Manic is the one who talks, and talks and makes it seem like there's a plan, that he's not just winging it as he goes. He can make people listen if he want's but he doesn't want people to know what he's doing right now, he won't even tell me, all I hear is swearing and explosions. And as you lot probably think I'm soft in the head already I can't say much that will convince you otherwise, you see me as crazy when Manic is talking to some random block of wood that is just fucking with him, and reading a book that won't even help him I bet, and he's not paying enough attention to 'ME!'. I put on the face that I'm fine, I know what he's doing is of some importance but I still want him to come and lie with me all day or atleast at all night, so I know that my world hasn't completely fallen apart.

But no he has his project that seems to take up most of his and Tom's time, I never feel him slide into bed before 1 o'clock in the morning. I'm not bitter, I know what he's doing is important to him, but I get this thoughts, I just can't control them, HE gets in, He tells me to do bad things, that if I do them I'll get Patrick back, HE says if I kill Manic we can all be free, I've even found myself standing over Manic with a pillow in my hands, I've come too close so many times, 3 days ago I had the pillow almost over his face, that face, his face that almost cocky grin on it even in sleep. But I can't do it and I won't do it, Slender Man isn't going to use me that way, I won't kill Manic, I lost him once I won't again.

I think we've done a good job over the few month to portray like we have some sanity left, I don't know how long the veneer will last before it crack and all the shit it hides comes spewing forth.

Manic's coming down for lunch now, I have to go I'll make sure he doesn't check for a couple of days, he'll forget about me typing on his laptop by then.

From Kat

Friday, 7 September 2012

The update

Kat has calmed down, abit and so I was doing abit of reading, firstly of some dead blogs, Zero's, Reach's, I also read Patch's. It is strange still being able to see his words and knowing that he's not goin to come back with some wooden sword and come at me with some obscure comic book reference, I think... I'm finally feeling the sadness associated with Patch's death.

I've also started reading my Granddad's old journal, nothing much of interest was in there from the little I read, just superficial observations about me and Sirus. But nothing that really helps.

I also figured out the riddle it was a book,

Box: "Again Muse you answer with wit beyond measure, but you let your mind drift like a feather. Much you have done can be counted in jest, of your efforts, none are the best. But listen now to the warnings of old, those that rise highest have the furthest to fall."

Again the symbol moves to another corner and another riddle appears:

" My first is in wield, sever bone and marrow.
  My second is in blade, forged in cold steel.
  My third is in arbalest, and also in arrow.
  My fourth is in power, plunged through a shield.
  My fifth is in honor, and also in vows.
  My last will put an end to it all. What am I?"

I don't know how many more riddles I'll have to solve before I find out the truth about this box, but again trust is what I need in this time, I trust Kat and Tom,  like I always have, and always will, I trust Tom to help me finish my project to help me help Kat, who will also support me regardless of what I do. I need to trust my Granddad, that he had a reason to keep everything, that he knew I would find this and therefore it has a purpose I just need to find it.

Until then as always,

Stay Safe Stay Sharp and Stay Alive,

-Manic Muse