Sunday, 2 December 2012

They think they can kill me, Manic can die a hundred times, but he is an idea now, an ideal, to strive for truth and life and the protection of those you love. The torture he has been put through caused his mind to fracture again, I am that last dying piece. He has left me in this world to die of the cold, alone, depraved, an insult to me, hum, death doesn't seem that bad, Manic is gone anyway, fled this body leaving me to rife the torture, I guess he was a coward in the end. So he''s died three times once as Sane, twice as Manic, and a fourth time.... soon, as me, this is only fleeting to give a word of warning to one person I found, poor kid, he has to suffer now, one last torture for me, kill an innocent. I won't, can't. do it, but he'll force me control me.

In advance to this kid sorry, I would kill myself if I could but the torture, well my torture, is almost complete, hopefully, you can live beyond that.

as it is no longer Manic talking I can't use his name,

- decay

Wednesday, 14 November 2012

He's gone

Really gone, I'm just getting to grips with it, he was always the consummate survivor, Kat still hasn't com e out of the room, she's been crying two days straight. The kid is just sat in Manic's old chair playing with some gear thing. But I guess I should back up a few days to let you know, after Manic came back with the kid Kat was actually really happy, and went all motherly, it's weird to see her like that when I've seen her in more.... murderous states.

They had one day together before shit started to fly, it was 2 in the morning when we heard the door burst open, we ran onto the landing, I saw Manic teleport downstairs. I ran down the stairs to see Manic fighting 10 proxies that had poured into the hall. I jumped over the banister onto one of the proxies and broke their neck. Manic and I fought them out the door, into the front garden. They were running, but Manic turned to me and forced me back inside, I heard the jeeps then. I think 30 of them had come I don't think we could have taken them even if we got Kat, and Grey to help. Because I saw as they lined up that the Slender Man was standing in front of them, something whistled past my ear, Manic had thrown something, it seemed to burn as it came closer to the Slender Man, it turned red, and turned to dust. Manic didn't respond to this, he just rushed me back inside with the others.

M: There are more of them on the way, there is no way we can beat them, get everyone together I will take us some place safe.
T: We are being chased by the Slender Man, no where is safe.
M: Trust me, trust me this one last time.

And I did he went out and started shouting at the Slender Man, I got Grey, Patrick, Aoife, and Kat all together in the front room and told them that Manic had a plan. When they asked me what it, was all I could reply with was ' Fucked if I know'. I heard more truck and a crack, next thing I know Manic has run in and making sure everyone is ready tells us to hold hands. He grabbed mine and Kat's, and I felt sick, it felt like I was being stretched. I didn't know where was up and down, I saw Manic next to me, it looked like he was struggling to keep consciousness, I don't think he's ever teleported this many people at once, he looked even in pain. Then I felt myself contract into my normal state, and felt cold ground on my face and found everyone similarly sprawled on the ground. Manic was up, but he was unsteady on his feet, Kat went to help him, but before she got to him he lurched forward and fell on the ground. I looked about for anything, and you can guess what I saw, Slendy himself standing in the middle of a load of trees, this is also when the mist came. Manic got up and stumbled abit, I think they were having a battle of minds.

M: This is it I guess.
T: Manic what are you doing?
M: Doing what is right.
K: What's the plan, because if you just go up to him he will just kill you, and that doesn't sound liek a very good plan.
P: *Piques up* That's the plan I think mum.
K: What, NO!
P: I thought you had a deal with Mr tick, he said you'd be safe.
M: Yes, but you two wouldn't, I would have to live the life I had been awarded as I watched you two suffer and probably die.
K: No Manic! You can stay, we can keep running, we can survive like we always do.
M: Survive, hmmm, I've always been a survivor haven't I. But look at Patrick, do you want him to grow up like we did, cause that is surviving, but it isn't living.
K: Manic, don't go. *She was crying now, clinging to Manic, he was still too weak to move*
M: I have to, I have to keep you safe, I have to keep everyone safe. Besides, do you really think I could live a 'normal life', I wasn't made to live like a normal person, I was made to be a weapon. I was influenced by Fears my entire life, I have been stalked to the edge of the universe and back. It was hell, but it's my hell, and it's the only way I know how to live.
K: No! NO! you are mine, I won't let them take you, I'd rather die than live without you.
M: Then who would look after Patrick, you can't do that to him.
K: * Kat clung harder to Manic, I could see in his eyes he was trying not to cry, but he hugged Kat and kissed her*
M: I love you, and I always will.
* He teleported out of her grip*

I took both me and Grey to hold her back.


* He turned back once, and it was the first and last time I've ever seen Manic cry, and waved goodbye*

Patrick started running when he was half way, I saw Manic crouch down and talk to him, I saw Manic chuckle and smile, as Patrick hands him something, Manic hugged him and Patrick waited, I was about to go and get him, despite KAt struggling, but Aoife put her hand on me, and stopped me, she walked up to him, and sat down next to him, Patrick just crawled up into a ball on her lap. Manic was getting closer to the Slender Man, and the fog was getting thicker it was hard enough making him out.

*She stopped making sense after that just screaming and sobbing, tried to claw at me and Grey, we still didn't let go*

I think Manic stopped for a little bit to think, because it seemed to take him ages to cross the last few meters between him and Slendy. When he did..... well the fog finally grew thick enough to obscure our vision, but we heard a bone chilling scream, it actually has kept me awake for most of the nights. The fog thinned abit and they were both gone, Kat was still screaming and sobbing, she still hasn't stopped but she has calmed abit. I think I'm starting to crack a little bit, I thought I heard Manic last night in Kat's room, but I put it down to the stress.

But I guess this is his end, he wanted us to be free, but I don't see how we can when he's been a part of our life so long. I've stated to tear up, I better finish this quick, before I change my mind again.

Manic. Rest in Peace, we loved you, and trusted you, until the end, and beyond.

To you the few who followed him,

Stay Safe Stay Sharp and Stay Alive,

Friday, 9 November 2012

It's done

It's fucking done, I fucking did it, no more ticking no more running, just peace, be it death or life outside this, but then that is the future. I did what I had to do, I have my Son back, I killed myself. I guess this is the informing post before I go to sleep before the final task needs to be done.

So the Ticking man came to me after my post and told me I was ready, he gave me a limited scope of ability, I could only access parts of my own life and two beyond it, he said it was necessary, otherwise he said I'd fuck up my timeline up even more. He allowed me to take Eoin to keep continuity and to make sure I don't do stuff I shouldn't.

So I went back to before I was alive to put a perception filter round the lake so only people from my family could see it. These actions ensured a legend back in my home of Noname, no children were actually harmed, it was just a  story I planted in the heads of a couple of the adults of the time.

Then it came to my torture, and you can read about that yourself, then it came to kidnapping Kat, there were no other fears there, I just affected our perception, I was knife to Kat but had to make her forget. When I had her, she was happy she knew why I had to do it, she had accepted it but I had to wipe her memory, otherwise this would all be broken again.

After Kat went back to past me me and Eoin had a talk, he asked me why I was so sad, I replied, because I'm going to die soon. 'But Mr Tick said he would let you free if you did this', 'He did, but he's a fear he has a plan, and he wants me dead, and I'm not going to stop him' I said.

M: Don't you ever wonder how you came to be a ticker Eoin, whatever happened to your parents?
E: Why would I they left me, Jenny has looked after me like a mum all my life, and Mr Tick says my Dad was a terrible man, caused alot of trouble for him. Besides for the past few months I've had you as a dad Manic, that's good enough for me, it doesn't matter who made me, only who raised me.
M: But maybe they are good people, maybe you could escape from this life, of death and misery.
E: And do what?
M: Your so young, you can still change, you can live independent of all this, this is just all I know that is why I can't change, you have a chance to be better, and I won't allow you to be forced into this life if I could help it.
E: And why should I, you lived like this since you were my age?
M: Do I look happy with my life, like this is what I wanted?
E: You have a family, you built one.
M: And I'll have to leave them very soon, and that kills me inside, but it's what I have to do for their good, do you want to know what my real name is, I bet you can't guess.
E: James, Paul, Michael, Eaimon, Cathal.
M: No,no,no,no, and N.
E: Lucy.
M: Little shit, * I chuckle* My Name is Eoin, and Fears don't do anything without reason, even in my tired state I can see the connection, he's been taunting me for months and I didn't even notice.
E: What, what is it?
M: Your name isn't Eoin, you weren't abandoned you were stolen from you parent's by your father, you were given to the ticking man for safe keeping, so I could fix the time line. You are Patrick,  I am your father, Kat is your Mother, and you will have to kill me when this is done, because I have no affetct on my own time line anymore, my clock will tick to it's end and he will make you do it.
P: No you're lying, I have no parents they left me, I am Eoin, a child of Mr Tick, he raised me, so did Jenny, No it can't.
M: How else do you think you have such a natural affinity for mechanical things, you can see how the universe and things fit together, me and my brother have mental abilities, this was probably brought on by the excessive exposure to the fears, and you have had it too, and have the same blood in your veins. And I'd be damn if you don't look like a young me. Think back to when you were really young, I looked in your mind pulled up an old memory. He gave you to Jenny and called you the mini Manic,  and to make sure you were ready to kill me.
P: No! No, You're lying, You're lying, You're a Filthy rotten Liar! You kidnapped your son only a few months ago.
M: You were raised by a fear of time I think he could manipulate it so you would grow up in time to kill me. Why would I lie, what do I have to gain.
P: I don't know, you don't want me to kill you, you want me to leave the only family I've known, you wnat me to wither and die like you, get old, get weak. I'm not your Son.
M: Really, when me and Sirus were younger we tried using our abilities on each other, when we were young we couldn't fend of each other, when we got older we could stop each other, so inherently our abilities couldn't hurt the other. Try to use your on me, try and imagine my part s and deconstruct me.
P: NO, I don't want to kill you.
M: Dont' worry you won't, because you can't.
* Concentration came on his face, he tried and tried but he saw his failure every time.*
P: Dad?
M: Yes?
P: Can I see mum?

I won't tell him I'll die in about a week time, it won't help him, this is one secret between me and you blogo sphere. I will leave a contingency for when I am gone, the others will tell you, things will be set in order, I can die in peace.

Stay Sharp, Stay Safe, And Stay Alive.

My Friends, I thank you for everything, all those come and gone, and still here, thank you.

-Manic Muse

Wednesday, 7 November 2012

So Tired

It's too bad Tom didn't lose his leg this time, he wants me to help him do so much stuff, I just can't haven't slept for days, even starting to have micro naps I don't even want, I may even fall into a coma from the lack of sleep. I forget how long I've been awake, the new plan is almost complete, the Ticking man say I am almost ready to get my Son back, I just grumble my replies these days, I can't muster the energy to reply properly. I have hallucinations, I think I see Slender Man just standing them but it always disappears, I can't even trust my eyes anymore, and if I can't do that what do I trust. Kat is showing she's more worried about me, but if I do this then we can live free, we can live in a family, just Live. Only if I do this, only if I go back, torture myself and her, steal my own son, kill myself, then come back, he's promised that he will leave me after that, as long as I fix my time line, any time I've taken from another will be added to mine, I will grow to an old age, I will die, I will be Human, free, free, my freedom to die, then Azreal can take me, I*'ll Embrace the Archangel then. Kat will be free to be away from me, Patrick will be safe.

He will settle any debt I have with the Slender Man, I will be safe, safe, free, I can be myself again, Manic can Die, Manic will be free.

Freedom, is that what I really want, I have never lived without the threat of a fear over me, I have never paid a single tax, I have never worked a job that pays me not to kill someone. I have never slept in on the weekends. Can I live this type of life, when I don't even know, I haven't even existed in their records since I was 9, I only have a death certificate from when Slendy tauntingly released my body to Sirus, and my Grand father, he never accepted that I was dead, he never accepted that. How can I be accepted in a world like the one we hide from. I'm a murderer, how will I know I am able to fight any temptation, when those that anger me lash out, how do I know instinct won't kick in, how do I know. If I am attacked how do I know that it's a proxy or a desperate mugger, what if he comes in the night, and I am not ready, lulled into my false sense of security.

I don't want to leave, who says it would be easier, who says it would be safer, maybe for me, but not the world. I don't want to waste my time doing menial jobs, when Fears kill innocents and enslave them. I can't waste my time, can't waste my energy, I can't be a free man, because free Men always die alone, if you aren't free, atleast you will die with your enemy by your side, inseparable, only death can do it.

I am Manic Muse, ex-proxy of PRE 01, Son of Proxies of PRE 01 and PRE 04, Grandson of proxy of PRE 04. Wife Ex proxy of PRE 01, chased by PRE 01. Son taken in the name of his freedom.

Does this man deserve to live, does this man deserve to die peacefully, alone, free from all his commitments, but then again, all my friends that are out this event, are already dead, Patch.... his death still haunts me, because I was too weak, Johnny, people I knew, and Zeke is imprisoned.

I don't deserve life, and death is too good for me.

Stay Safe, Stay Sharp and Stay Alive.

-Manic Muse

Monday, 5 November 2012

Back to business

Developing stock pile of Sub Mixtures in case I'm forced to run away from the house, it wasn't suppose to be this way, it wasn't suppose to fall apart to fall apart, this wasn't the Plan, Kat, Tom, Aoife, Patrick, Grey were suppose to be safe, not be under threat from a fear. I paid my dues, to the Slender Man, yet he only stays away due to my possession of these Sub- Mixtures, otherwise I wouldn't be typing now. The making of more of the Sub Mixtures seems to stop the ticking, I work in silence, I have removed every clock I could find in my house, I wouldn't know what time it was if it weren't for the computer.

I feel my sanity slipping, as surely as before, I seek silence isolation, work, only way to stop the ticking, only Eoin, the ticker dares come near me in this state, I've also changed the password, it will only be me posting from now on, I don't want them to know I don't want them to get involved. I'm getting close I think, only a week more then Mr Tick will help me. I asked to help Eoin on one of his dead face missions, he seemed excited about this.

The guy was a Slacker, I don't know 25 ish, I didn't have a file on him as I usually do when hunting someone, Eoin didn't know, he just knew his time was up and the Clock deemed it necessary to bring him. He took out a small pocket watch, I saw the fear symbol for Dead under the hands, the hand twitched feebly like a clock hand stuck on something.

E: I can't do anything, Jenny usually handled them, You just have to bring this one to the Clock tower for Mr Tick, he has a plan for him.
M: I can't, I said I wouldn't kill innocents anymore, unless it was me or them, and they wouldn't give up if I was still breathing.
E: I see.

Eoin proceeded to walk to the place the man was sitting, and tug his jacket asking if he saw his daddy, the Slacker gave a half caring response of, No. Eoin came back and said nothing just waited 2 minutes later he looked at his watch and put it to his ear, then started scratching his ear it's like he was trying to dig something out his head. Then I realised that he was hearing the ticking. He started fidgeting like he was in great discomfort. He saw me looking at him, and got angry, and went for me, I blocked his jab with my left arm, forcing it down and to the side whilst following with a right hook. He went down but got up quickly.

E: HE's not going to stop, but the noise will if you take him to the Clocktower, then he won't try and kill you, so you won't have to kill him.

So I did, We were standing out side the tower seconds later, the man stopped as soon as his feet touched the ground, and he looked up, I followed his gaze, realising I hadn't seen the sky from inside the tower. There was a massive Clock in the Sky in place of a moon or a sun.

TM: Well done Eoin, you did well, even without your Tocker, you may go now.
M: Wait! What are you going to do to him?
TM: I'm a fear what you think I'll do?
M: But what?
TM: You see that ocean there, in it's vastness there are island dotted into infinity, as time is infinite, even without, your matter. On them stand some of my Victims*Checks his pocket watch, and gives an imitation of a frown* they are stranded there unable to even drink they Go mad usually.
M: Why?
TM: Because of their desperation  they will try to swim, but as soon as the time touches them, the memories of misery and regret flood, their mind , so the usually just try to run back to the dry land, they try again and again. They will do it so often that the time will have drained out of them, either the time around them will rise enough that there is no dry land left, so they constantly feel the memories. They go Mad, and see the only release is to wade deeper, or accept me, most choose to wade until they sink beneath the surface, usually their mind breaks before this, but the time they forfeited had been extracted from them. So they just sink. This is what will happen to him.
*He looks at his pocket watch again*
M: What's in the pocket watch?
TM: Oh an anomaly, something I'm trying to rectify.
M: Who's is it?
TM: Good question, insightful question. It's yours, do you want to see?
M: Wouldn't that be unwise me knowing how long I have left?
TM: Maybe, but sometimes the best torture is watching those who try and avoid their fate, yet cause it themselves, and the torture, of their minds as they know their end. Here look.

I look at the watch it has a massive crack down the center of the face, an the hands had stopped moving shortly before Dead.

M: SO it's broken?Why haven't you fixed it.
TM: Urg, I thought you would have understood, these watches do not break, they handle Time, you have just Broken yours by the flagrant uncaring you show to it. I am waiting for that hand to reach it's destination, so I can take you. As Muse, no Man lives forever.

I left then, followed shortly by Eoin, I still hear the scream of the Man, as I left. I still hear them now, entangled with the ticking, like some one is being grinded by a pair of slow moving gears.

Stay Safe, Stay Sharp and Stay Alive.

-Manic Muse

Saturday, 3 November 2012

Visit from a Blind Man

I was writing in another journal, the compulsion seems to have returned along with the ticking, it seems that I am verging on insanity. But that is another problem for another time, but this is when the Blind Man appeared and I felt the change in pressure, I don't think he was happy.

BM: Where are they?
M: Who?
*I didn't get up or stop writing*
BM: I think you know.
M: So he made the right choice did he?
BM: Deisis is dead, to me that is not the right choice. So Where are they?
M: Oh, I don't know, why would I?
BM: You offered them aid around the time the choice was made, so here is a viable place.
M: Perhaps I didn't make it clear WHY, would I, the amount I've done to annoy the fears, why would I keep fugitives, risk the safety of my friends.
BM: But you are the only other individual in the world that have the Sub-Mixtures, you would be who they came to.
M: Really, you think they'd come to me the day after they made the choice, think they come to an obvious ally, when you would be searching for them. Be assured, I will tell you if they come to me, is that good enough.
BM: I find it hard to believe you would turn in those two, because they made the 'right' choice, you won't help me I don't think.
M: Well, I think you may be right, I wouldn't turn them in, I won't turn them if they do come. And I will defend those type of people to the death if needs be, because it Would be the right thing to do.
BM: And how would you defend against me, a fear.
M: Like you said I have the Sub-Mixtures, maybe you can get the fascist of a grandson you have can kill me for you, the Sub-Mixtures wouldn't have an effect on his knights. But he's a fear, I may not hold back for him if he comes.
BM: Muse, Your insolence has been enough of a problem for the Fears! You will listen to me, if I find you harboring these traitors, I will show you no mercy on you, I don't care if it causes some Paradox, I will go back and kill you before the loop is required.
M: Well, if you are quite done I have other things to do today.
BM: I'll be watching you.

* I looked up smiled and Waved, then he left*

I went back to the block of wood, to ask it some stuff,

Stay Sharp, Stay Ssafe and Stay Alive

-Manic Muse

Thursday, 1 November 2012

Halloween Experiment

Sorry I didn't tell you about this before hand but it slipped my mind in the last post for obvious reasons, but not even a ticking in my head can stop me experimenting on such a great night of perception.

Subject: PREs, anything that involves perception.

Reason: Due to influence Halloween has become a point of exaggerated terror and horror, when every dresses up and for that night, monsters could be real. This has been true for millenia, it has been a point where they believe the veil that separates life and death is thinnest, and hence anything that dwells there all demons have more sway.

Experiment: To see if perception on that night was heightened, and if Fear activity is also increased.

Experiment (findings):

I went out to check how people reacted, there were children and teenagers out respectively collecting sweets and drinking. I initially dressed as Slendy to see if the results varied from the one I did earlier in this blog. People actually noticed me and children ran from me, teenagers tried to joke with me, but also shat themselves when I teleported away from them and appeared right behind them. I also saw the actual Slendy, he seemed pissed when he noticed me. But I saw him alot that night stalking certain groups, I just waved whenever he saw me, I pissed him off, he did seem to be on the verge of attacking me, but seemed to relax like he knew something I didn't, made me uneasy.

I also saw Archy in his gas mask, working his way through crowds, and the plague doc with his cane tapping away, Wooden girl among a group of guys, doing probably what she does best. I even saw the Rake dragging off a guy he had killed.

I'm pretty sure I saw Mr Tick just sitting on top of a wall, taunting me with his watch and his ticking, looked like he was frowning at me.

Conclusion: This time does increase the number of Fear incidents, Therefore, you shouldn't go out during Halloween if you value your pulse.

Stay Safe, Stay Sharp and Stay Alive

Tuesday, 30 October 2012

It just keeps going.

Since my post from yesterday I have had this ticking in my head like the Conductor is right behind me, with all his clockwork innards going away. Kat's noticed that when i'm forced to sit still for a while I start fidgeting, and can't relax, it's at these moments the ticking's loudest, I have to move, have to move from the noise, it's the only time it stops. The ticker followed me home from the Clock tower, he's just sat in the corner playing with gears and cogs, he disappears for a few minutes when he runs out, but he always comes back. I also realised I didn't give a decent enough description of the ticking man, wasn't really the pressing thought I had at that time, so here are the basic details;

He has a jacket that changes colour, it went through loads when I saw him, but it settled mainly on half black half white. I guess that is to symbolise the night and day, why else would it be half and half. On this jacket there are many cogs and gears all interlinked to form a pattern I couldn't quite discern, because I think that was shifting aswell. His eyes look normal until you look closely, where you see the cogs in his pupils moving, I believe part of his inner physiology is comprised of clockwork, but he does definatly have not clockwork parts, as his movements did not appear to be jerky and automatic. His shows are hard to place, they look like the leather shoes you'd expect to see people in old london would wear, soft leather that had strings for laces, not completely out of place anywhere. His trousers also followed the same pattern as his jacket, with only his tie remaining a constant shade of red. His hat appeared to have goggles on them, possibly to aid his or increase the dread his victims feel. last part is his hat, again it's red like a bloody sunrise on which his goggles are bound. Over all he seems very unsettling, despite the fact he has a flambouant air for a fear, but he still maintains the malevolence that you usually associate one with.

This is all the information I can gather, the scientist in me, still want to document, but the ticking is getting louder, must talk to the ticker, must find out what it is.

Why doesn't he talk he just winds up the little golden apparatus he made me once and let it play, the ticking stopped, I listened to the music and I wasn't angry anymore. This is when he said;

?: Hello Manic sorry, Mr Tick doesn't play well with others, people who encounter him always here the ticking, it's how he gets them. Some are driven so mad they kill themselves to stop the ticking, some just run until their heart gives out. Some seek out Mr tick, and become tickers like me, or tockers like Jenny was.
M: Jenny was your tocker was she?
*HE nods*
M: What's your name?
?: Mr Tick says my name is Eoin, but I don't remember my parents, I remember waking up here knowing how to do all these things, and Mr Tick gave me to Jenny, she treated me nice, like imagine a mum does, but she died because one of the dead faces went insane and killed her. That's when he moved me to watch you, you were suppose to be a new target.
M: What's a dead face?
E: Someone Mr Tick, has told us to kill, Someone who's time has run out.
M: Was I dead face?
E: Yes. But Mr Tick, said to leave you alone, that there were other plans for you, so I did.
M: What are the clocks and watches in the tower for Eoin?
E: They are the time wasters, with Mr Tick, if you do nothing and don't seize an opportunity you forfeit another moment because of the waste, which ends up at the clock tower.

*The music stopped playing and the ticking came again, Eoin waved at me goodbye and went back to playing with his gears and cogs*

Damn ticking, always going on in my head, my head, my sanctuary since Sane died.

Must work, must do something, not nothing, can't sleep, or the Ticking will get me.

Stay Safe, Stay Sharp and Stay Alive,

-Manic Muse , tick,tick,tick, tick

Monday, 29 October 2012

Tick,tock,Tick, tock, Tick.....

Failed, I failed again, I had that feeling of Deja vu I get when someones coming to tell me I fucked something up again. I wasn't disappointed, I turned around to find myself face to face with someone, or something, because like with many of these things it looked and talked human, but something was off. When ever he stood still or was sitting there was always motion in him. He was tapping his finger against his leg in a pattern:

?: How many times will you destroy a time line before you get the idea that it's not a good idea to do what you're doing, and to think it would go unnoticed by everyone.
M: Have the Fears themselves given up on berating me, am I just being given one umbrella from a proxy now?
?: Proxy? No I am not a proxy, I am a fear, even though I don't flaunt my existence and stomp like my family .M: A fear? Of what?
?: Well I guess divulging the information to you is not too much to ask, especially since I'm surprised you got this far. I have had a few names from the people I chase, I've been called, the Clockwork man, the Conductor, the everlasting beat, or I assume will be your favorite, the Ticking Man. I Muse, am the fear of having wasted time, especially the past. And you've pissed away time.
M: Hmmm, well, I'm surprised I don't know about you how do I know you're a fear or just some guy that's trying to use me?
TM: Well if I wasn't a fear could I do this?
M: Do what?

* He gestured to my window, I saw a bird hung in the air mid flap*
M: Well, that's abit conclusive, anymore proof.
TM: *Exasperated came towards me, a growing tick came with him* Well, take a look here.

* He had little clockwork gears in his eyes, and I heard the ticking coming from inside him*
M: So I'm guessing you came to kill for fucking with your timelines to much?
TM: Yes I thought you would assume that, but I'd think that'd upset one of my tickers very much, you have met him and he grew quite fond of you. But just killing you won't fix any of the timelines, and neither will let you live, but leaving you alive may keep this one going for as long as it should. Since you can try and stop any approaching war. And hopefully you'll listen to me, my brothers have already had enough of you and want me to sort it out.
M: But what should I do, I always fuck them up, what do I do?
TM: I know what you should do, but you have to make the choices, but I have to send you back at some point, you facilitate yourself to this point, so I will do it when I deem you ready.
M: What if I need to contact you?
TM: I can show you my domain, but I don't want you dropping in all the time, you humans are incredibly needy creatures.
*He took a few cogs from the lapel of his jacket and orientated them in some way, he left them and they turned in the air, a gap opened like a second hand moving round a clock face, so a circle leading in was left in the air*
TM: Here is my domain, whatever you do I ask you not to touch the liquid that surrounds the tower.

* I saw a tower filled with clocks, covered in fear letters, I guess it was the clock of peoples lives because I almost knocked one on the ground and he flipped, almost threw me out the window. I also saw Mini noname, playing with something, but where I expected to see no face I saw, a beaming child handing out a small object to me. It was a scale model of Slendy doing an irish jig then falling over, and picking himself up again.*

M: I guess that's the person that helped me.
TM: Yes that's one of my tickers, they track people whom they believe to have regret in their past, and if they think they have wasted time. His complementary tocker was killed a few months ago, so I let him sit here and play.
M: What are tockers?
TM: They are my proxies who actually do the killing, for every tick there's a tock. Tockers either bring them to me or kill them, trackers usual don't need to.
Here we are at the top, what do you see?
M: I don't know a big ocean of nothing.
TM: It's a river of time, those are memories and time wasted, people waste time everyday, it all ends up here.

But now you know as much as you need to know, so I will ask you to leave and with a check of his watch pushed me back into my room, on to my bed.

What the Fuck Just Happened?


Monday, 22 October 2012

Manic's back?

Well I think he is.

He seems to be different, the doctor seems to have taken something out of him, put something inside him, it's changed him. He is so... less? Just sits in his chair and stares over his fingers at the wall, doesn't even look at me anymore, just stares through me, like there is something beyond, like there is something there only he can see. I tried getting him to answer me, Tom, Aoife, even told him that Grey was dead he just stares.

But we will get to that eventually, but I'll tell you the little that led to this; Manic appeared out of the toilet yesterday as if nothing had actually happened , just bumped into me, and looked confuse, he said one thing I don't know what it means he just said it. "Death is how it ends, how we win, by the end of us. But there's a chance that something is different I know it. or at least I did" he didn't look at me when he said this, more like he was talking to himself. He is just weird, I mean weirder than usual, it's like he's forgotten about Patrick, I can accept it he has just spent three days in the Doctors area, he was always the Fear he was weary of the most, I can't imagine how it was for him. But he needs to sharpen up, he promised to me he would save Patrick, and  I would have thought that takes priority, especially as it's me. Though it seems Grey and his new fascination with the wall takes precedent, I have just about had enough with Manic, if he won't do what he promised he will I'll do it myself, he better not think I'd not give him up for Patrick, he's the only one I would.

Yeah that's about it bye

Friday, 19 October 2012

The girls

They look like they are recovering from a terrible hangover, Kat looks really down and restless, Manic is still missing so she is worried about that. Aoife has become really withdrawn into herself, I don't know why? Maybe it's the stuff those oath breakers gave her, she still has stitches from where she stabbed herself, I try to get her to respond to me but she just looks at me sort of empty and mumbles when I ask her questions, I can barely get her to eat and sleep, I'm worrying about her, and it's all Manic's fault for pissing off fears and experimenting, killing all those proxies. I can't take what he's done to us. I just can't.

Wednesday, 17 October 2012

Hehehe, they're gone now.

I got the oathbreakers, all of them.
Even with my one leg they all went down, one right after I typed up; it was the counselor, sitting all smug like he had done a good job, so naive. It vanished soon after the syringe went in his throat, along with the copious  amount of air, they really guard the dangerous implements from those they are trying to turn into murderers. But I guess it's over now, they almost did to me what they did Manic, but I stayed by his bed with a scalpel looking like the maniac I was suppose to portray, it was the doctor that tucked me in that fell next. He handled me like a glass figurine, like I would crack at the slightest disturbance, too bad they missed the crack they had prised open themselves. He's probably still in the cupboard with that stephascope lodged down his wind pipe, I listened as he choked and tried to pull it out and his heart pounded like a trapped birds bounding off the sides of a glass box, stupid like it's owner.

Two doctors left, the top two, the lead oath breakers of this thing. They died last I wheeled my way along the night corridors the sound of my wheels rasping against the plastic floor, the click as the clocks moved, the tapping that followed me, guess I put it down to my insanity. I went past Aoife, she was asleep I went in, stroked her face, and thought of the stuff I had done, stuff Manic would have done, I'm as bad as him, but that tapping again, I snapped back to the job I had to do. I stroked the hair from her face and kissed her on the forehead, then left the room, along the corridors lit by a single lane of lights. I saw Kat, looking better than I expected; Manic, laying with a bandage around his head, looking blankly out the window, something tugged at the back of my mind to kill him aswell, the reason for all the trouble. Then I remembered who put us here, the oath breakers, their voices filling my ears until I realised that was their actual voices I rolled slightly onto the corner until I saw them and then rolled back until I could only hear them.

Top Doc: What happened with subject and Charlie?
Little piggy: We don't know, Roger is checking the subject is falling asleep properly, so we can check with him how the subject is responding..
TD: I don't care what Roger is doing he is currently dead by the subject! What happened with Charlie Dominic?!
LP: Well, a guess I think we didn't take into account the number of times the target saved the subjects life, and so the subject's sense of 'justice' kicked in. Also, if he has discovered we were who we really are he could have hostile leanings to us, as we put his female companion in danger.
TD: By the plague docs saggy left..... Why did you not account for this, it was a simple enough task?!
LP: I'm sorry Richard, this is not my fault, this is not an easy process, and the psychological elements were your department. That means it's because of you Charlie is dead.
LP: Now, now, we wouldn't want our master to know that you have caused two of your companions death's, so maybe you should walk it off and check on Roger, hmmm?

The footsteps stormed away, he seemed to ignore me, I guessed he was too angry to notice. The other doc was whistling now, I wheeled quietly behind him as he sauntered away. I took the scalpel from the fold of my shirt and when I was in range I severed the ligaments connected to the back of is knees, my did he scream, he pleaded for his life said he'd let us go free, but they lie, he was dead before I put the blade went fully into his scalpel, I saw now as the perfect time to play with the last one, I wheeled into the blood pooling, and wheeled away, it led to Manic room I took Manics knife, it is never far from him, in fact it was on one of the doctors. I heard the running footsteps come to a stop and as I hid in the corner he walked in I opened an entrance to the path, it felt like some of my life left me. The doctor turned to face me and ran like a cornered animal, I twisted out of the way and he tripped over my front leg but grabbed my remaining shoe, as those shadow things Manic talks about came I was slowly pulled in, then the tapping again, the doctor looked hopeful, the cane came down on his hands and they curled and a finger fell off, and he was pulled in, the doctor closed the path, leaving what look like a hand still twitching in place like on the other end the person was in agony.

The doctor turned to me and I heard Manic mumble and Aoife stumbled in onto my lap and curled up, Kat limped in and found Manic and curled into a hollow his body left. The doctor continued to walk to Manic and placed his hand on Manic's shoulder, he tried to shrug it off, the doctor tapped his cane three times the hospital decayed, only word for it. like a human body boils and pustules formed, what looked like blood mixed with some yellow semi liquid oozed from the walls.

We woke up in our house, now repaired, but Manic is still missing.

Oh and Kat is pissed

Sunday, 14 October 2012

I couldn't do it

Kill him that is.

I.....I'm weak, I saw him there I was ready to killl him but.... I might aswell tell you.

I went in last night ready to act, there were few medical staff about to stop me, so would probably put it down to a machine failure, or electrical, Manic would die and I'd be free. So I went into his room to act, the green glow the monitor gave off put his face in a weird perspective, and the breathing thing wheezed, inflating and deflating his lungs, giving him air to live. I turned off the lung but the monitor still showed Manic's heartbeat steady, steadier than mine, them I took the pillow, I saw his chest going up and down, how, how could he have been breathing if he was brain dead, nothing should be working. I positioned myself as best I could near his head and was about to press down, when.

I felt a hand squeeze around my wrist, I barely stopped myself screaming, I looked at Manic's face, it was.. aware, full of that fierce intelligence, he put his finger to his lips. I couldn't have made a sound if I wanted to I was too confused and petrified about what he might do. He just tried to speak but he obviously lost his voice from lack of use, he signaled to a piece of paper and pen by his bed. He tried writing with more success, but it still looked like a child wrote the letters. Initially he drew what looked like a worm wrapped around a stick,  I tried to show I didn't understand so he tried to write a word it looked like 'oatabtearer', I still looked at him in confusion so he tried to speak again. one letter at a time.

O, he rasped, A, there were voices somewhere, T, H, he shuddered a little, B, there were now hurried footsteps that sounded far off, R, E, they were getting closer, A,K, The voices sounded worried and Frantic, Manic kept his steady stare, E, R. He then slumped back on his bed as the door burst open, I hid the paper, I don't know why and just stared into space. The doctors hurried around injecting him with stuff, turning the machine back on. I can't believe I failed, I let my memories get the best of me.

When I saw his face all the times he'd saved me came back, all the wounds he's treated, the nights he's stayed up and kept watch on me the frost as he looked at me through a snowstorm, and a kid hid behind a door, in a cell made for the damned. I couldn't do it, But I must do better, because there is one more thing he has to do to save my life.


Friday, 12 October 2012

To kill a Muse

It would be so simple on simple act, and he'd be gone, He wouldn't be able to hurt us anymore. I would be safe, Aoife would be safe again, since he came back he has caused nothing but trouble since. Would it even be murder? He isn't even awake, they say he is technically brain dead and they offered me the option of turning off the life support, would I even need to have them present, I would need to make sure he was dead if the machines were on then I couldn't smother him, and a knife to the heart or throat would be too conspicuous, if I turn off the machines he should die, then I could make sure with his pillow then, finally I would be free, alive, ME.

I'll do it tomorrow, he can die then, I'll sleep on it if I still think it's a good idea then I'll do it, I can't have Aoife in danger I just can't and with him alive that will never be possible.

Wednesday, 10 October 2012

Ow, Am I the only one awake?

I woke up and found Kat, Aoife and Manic out or, for lack of a better word, insane, too bad Manic isn't awake I was hoping he could fix my leg but the doctors say it was too late to try and reattach the leg, especially given the state it was found,so I am now disabled. Why is it that whenever I try to help Manic I come off the worse, this is the worst, I've lost a fucking appendage, I have suffered so much for Manic, I may leave before he wakes up, but I have to wake for Aoife I can't leave her with Manic, he can't help her anymore. She's better than when he first fixed her, but he will just ruin that I can't allow him to do that to her.

I have a councilor from the hospital, probably over my leg for them to make sure I don't suffer from the thing Aoife has, and won't recede into myself. He tries to make me see that it isn't anyone's fault, but I know, I know that it was Grey who tore my leg off, it was Grey who battered Kat, it was Grey who made Aoife lose it. And.... it was Manic that brought him into the house, it was Manic who didn't kill him when he said he would, it was Manic who didn't cure the bastard before hand.

I guess Manic did after all though, I can't find Grey anywhere in the hospital, and none of the staff knew about him, Manic did something right for once. I looked through this blog to check if the others had woken up, or if Aoife posted before she went. But I just saw Manic's post before the event.

I am tired of writing now, all the talking and pain killers has meant that I don't stay awakefor long, but the same thought goes through my head, Manic's fault, Manic's fault, Manic's fault, Manic's fault, Manic's fault, Manic's fault, Manic's......