Wednesday, 30 May 2012

somethings not right.

Manic keeps appearing and disappearing in my consciousness, it can't be happening yet Narcissus said it wouldn't. I keep seeing noname, never a good thing, he seems like he's smiling, happy with my misfortune why can't I be left alone, have Kat back, not have a ghost invade my mind.

But I'm still running I  will win I must win, I have also noted something weird, with all this noname stuff I haven't seen Slendy. It must only be a coincidence, I don't want to save Manic anymore, I think he's what stopping me entering the path, especially what Narcissus told me.

But for now Manic is dead sorry to get your hopes up.


Tuesday, 29 May 2012


They've taken her, they've fucking taken HER!!! WHY did you FUCKING take HER I was doing what YOU ASKED ME to do!!!!! WHY?

They came all at once every horrid thing in the universe, at once, I couldn't save her, as always can't save anyone, not Patch not Johnny, Not Maya, Antonio, they were all doomed regardless of what I did, WHy I saw Narcissus I did what you Wanted why, ..........

Sorry I'm taking over from here a story needs to be told but not yet people have died, minds have been broken  lives changed old friends re drawn armies built and trained, but that's not for now.  Now we mourn, now we cry, now we feel, human. there's a little secret she never told me but we knew it is hard to keep a secret when you live with a psychic, it wasn't just me and her when we were traveling there was another, Manic's fault. so we lost two, but for those few who even cared mourn for her, as we do not hold out much hope, she may live, somewhere but if she isn't we can't get her back this time.

as you can tell Manic is back, we have to find me a new body as the effort we both produce is killing the body it is only the healing keeping us together right now. Time to go proxy, or runner, hunting, I need a good body.

-Sane & Manic

Saturday, 26 May 2012


Nononononononononono, we were just attacked must run, must hide dont try and help, must run fear the wrath of noname, fear the pain of The Plague, fear the control of the strings, fear the emptiness of the void, fear the decay of death, fear weird children, fear the swarm, teh gathering of birds, everything id coming everthing, KNOWS! MUst run, run run, like a rabbit from a farmers gun

Friday, 25 May 2012

The story

This is most probably going to be a long post, and I can't see a way to split it up cohesively, so I shall have to do this in one great splurge.

When I was little my mother used to tell us, me and Sirus, the story of noname, the story was like any told to children of that age, a cautionary tale.

The story, as stories usually do, involved two children, but from what me and Kat remembered it  varied to any degree from being two brothers, or sister, or two friends. Now the participants may change depending on the version that was told, but the story always remained the same, the version my mother told me involved two brothers, probably a device used by her to scare Me and Sirus.

So like many horror stories a forest is involved, this particular on was the one that grew near the place I was born. The children of the story were reckless, and almost indistinguishable from one another, they could have been twins. Now the children involved were always causing mischief amongst the community, causing practical jokes, thoroughly dislikable children.

It just so happened that one day, against their parents advice, and warnings, ventured into the forest to play and set up another one of their practical jokes. Unfortunately, for them, they lost track of time whilst setting up their plan, and it was dark. The two children, by some error, somehow got lost in the forest and couldn't find their way back, this was the time before mobile phones so they couldn't just call their parents to try and find them.

This children spent hours wandering through the forest, they this for so long that they got themselves so lost so that when they eventually came to a lake, they rested. Now unbeknownst to them this was the home, or lair, of noname the monster of our piece. They started drifting of slowly resolving themselves to the fact that they would have to wait until morning when their parents would, undoubtedly, start looking for them.

When one woke up however, it was cold and the moon was still high over head, this was enough to unsettle him but it was nothing compared with what followed. A voice whispered "Brothers?", the child looked around for the source of the voice, fearing for his safety, but couldn't find a source. He merely assumed it was his brother trying to scare him, so he kicked him in the shoulder, which jolted him awake with a yell of pain. Confused and drowsy he asked why he had kicked him, the other told him that it was because he was trying to scare him, unsurprisingly the other brother vehemently denied the accusations.

Then there was that voice again, "Brother?, Why do you fight?" both were alert now, looking for the person the voice had emanated from. The second brother saw a person behind a tree and alerted the other. They quickly ran to investigate, but found no one, or nothing, like they had just vanished, they listened for anymore sound like foot steps until.

"Brothers? Why are you angry at me?", again they looked around, this time however they both saw him clearly, standing on the lake. The man had no face, to speak of, nor any identifiable features in his gait or appearance, he would have looked like a normal man, if he had a face. They slowly inched towards the 'man' and said "We are not your brothers? We don't even know who you are". To which the man replied, "Brothers?, How could you forget me, and how we used to play our games of mischief". The second brother 'bravely' yelled " We are not your brothers! You don't even have a face we aren't similar at all!". "Oh" he replied in what could be assumed as a dejected manner, "but I wish to play again brothers". "Well we don't want to play with you" shouted the 'braver' of the two. I use braver in that way as to address him in such a way is an almost certain way, to death.

The 'man' emanated a malicious anticipation, " if you don't 'want' to play, I will make you like me and we can play, forever". The tallest, and thinnest and possibly smarter of the two, instantly turned tail and ran from the 'man', closely followed by his brother.

The next morning the parents organised a search party to find the two brothers who hadn't returned last night. They found them, but they weren't alive, or what passed for alive in this realm. The boys had been attacked, and their faces had been, removed, leaving only smooth, clean, white flesh in its place. The parents wondered what could have done this, not believing their own stories and found a note, scrawled on in some form of childish scrawl "They couldn't run fast enough, tag you're it. They are mine now and we will play, Forever".

It is said if you went into the forest a night their screams still echo off the trees and the silent whisper of "Brother, run and hide I'll count to 100".The children of the time never went out at night after that, nor did the adults, the only people that did were the teenagers, doing what teenagers extorted a disaster for their own amusement, but neither adult nor child wanted to fall prey to noname, and him and his boys traps.

Me and Sirus tried finding this lake many times when we were younger, testing fate, and the patience of noname. I guess one night Manic or I went back alone and found him and he is the man that came to me. I don't know why I am alive now even if I met him when I was younger, I fear for my life now more than ever, I fear Him, more than the Slender Man himself, I would gladly trade him for my ghost.


As a reward for reading all this here is some punk:

Thursday, 24 May 2012

*Sigh of relief*

Kat is finally awake, the doctors are keeping her an extra day or so to make sure she hasn't got any lasting damage, I'm going to talk to her about the story of that guy that came to my room the other day, see if Manic told her anything about it, or if my mother told her the story during the short time she spent at my old home. But I'm doing what he said, I don't want to see Narcissus he is almost the personification of the greek myth, but I have to, and if Manic is alive somehow, I sort of feel obliged to find out, but what if I'm subjugated again I don't want to be put back in a box, especially after just getting used to being a dominant personality. But I have to otherwise that guy will kill me, and I'm not willing to call his bluff quite yet.

Tuesday, 22 May 2012

Morbid thoughts

I have been thinking alot today about who I knew and people who started blogs after, how many of them are dead, the Skeptic, dead. Zephy, Dead, Manic, supposedly alive how i don't know, but died atleast. Antonio, dead, Maya, Dead, Johnny.... Dead, Paul, died came back. Then there are the people who blogged before me, who are now dead, Ryan, dead, Elaine dead, those two I never properly knew these two, I talked to Lucia abit on her blog, but that was about it. And the 'oh so great' leader, Zeke, dead. These people, now little more than words on a computer screen typed up by an injured man, in a remote corner of the internet. Sure the large ones like Elaine, Zeke, Ryan, Damien, Robert, Arkady, even Mtich a proxy for the most part, these people will be remembered regardless of what they did. But what about the small people The Skeptic, Zephy, Paul, Maya, Antonio, Kat, the Littlest Runaway, the Real Wild Child, Christina, me.

Who will remember us, and our achievements, or will they not be deemed worth enough to be remembered, will we fade as our blogs and the people that read them die as well. Is anything were really doing worth anything, does any action we do have any real permanence with a beast that has changed so many times. I don't want to be forgotten, I don't want to fade, I want to have done something, that is worth something, anything. But I guess my triumphs are only human triumphs, loving, living, teaching, caring, not anything big and grand.

But no I will fade, Paul will fade and given time all the sages will fade as the world forgets, the slender Man will vanish, so no one will remember as, there will be no threat or need. They will be chance upon by random people surfing the internet, and they will see them only as stories, though this is our curse if we win, or if we lose, no one will remember our feats, our great accomplishment, the friends we've buried, the life we've saved. Even if we win, grow old, have children we wont dare tell them, as we know the consequences, and on our death beds, if we are so fortunate we can atleast hope, we will be forgotten for something, died protecting the world from a monster we banished, and hope that we did the right thing.

-Sane Soliloquy

Sunday, 20 May 2012

A visitor

I am currently typing this with one painful hand, I had a visitor today, I never got him to give me his name so I'll refer to him as that guy.

So that guy came into my room, as I had internal injuries that I didn't know about until the hospital, and said "you don't look that well tulpa", "what? I'm a person not a tulpa", "whatever you choose to believe, I think that is the only reason you are still together".
This was weird I don't get visitors, especially ones that question my -ness, I snapped at him, "Who are you so I know what to put on your tombstone?", " My name is of no importance, even if I had one, I wouldn't tell you". It was at this point I noticed I couldn't distinguish a head, well more a face, to talk to so I had to look in the general direction his head would be. TG: Well aren't these conditions cosy, your Muse certainly made sure you got a minor injury and a nice room.

S: I wouldn't call internal bleeding, bruising and a few broken limbs, minor.
TG: well, when considering death as an alternative I would call them rather minor, but that's just my opinion.
S: *with a weary tone* What do you want with a 'Tulpa' if you're so great?
TG: Nothing with you, in particular, but I do require your Muse and as you are inexorability linked with him I see myself coming to you. You two are important in a larger scheme, not just that of what you call the Slender Man, but others, like the Plague doctor, why do you think you get so little attention from the any of the fears, or other factions in this world? You are part of a larger plan, one we have been concocting from your birth, and you have to fulfil it.
 S: What is this destiny we have to fulfil then?
TG: Well 'that' you don't need to know quite yet, but we need your Muse back so we can initiate the Plan in full force, and as you seem to lethargic to find out atleast what happened I am here to give you some.....  'motivation'.
S: What type of motivation?
TG: Life 'altering' motivation.
S: Unless you're going to kill me I don't see how life altering it will be, and you wont kill me, if were so important to your 'plan'.
TG: I don't need to kill you, and there are others to take your place in case of your death they are nowhere near as viable, but we can kill you, if we want.

The way he said that last part, with such cool detachment, and so little importance behind it scared me more than the threat itself.

S: *Dejectedly* What do you want me to do?
TG: Go and see the proxy, Narcissus, I'm sure you know him, and ask him what happened to your Muse.
S: yes I know him, but Why?
TG: *Chuckles* Well tulpa, that is for another time that question, but do this and you may get your answer.

Then he leaves the room, leaving me with my thoughts and the silence, I looked back over my post to see if anything extra weird happened, asides from eldritch beings and super powered people, and I saw my post about my 'retirement' and understood, who he was, there were tales that were told to us when we were little, Manic use to obsess over them, partly explains why he he put so much emphasis on stories and one in particular which he used to discuss with Sirus allot. I just hope I am wrong, this is becoming my catchphrase now isn't it?

I'll sort this out when I have healed enough and Kat is out of her state, I have a bad feeling about this.


Saturday, 19 May 2012

Thankful we're alive

Remember me saying there was near to no proxy activity near to where I was staying, well, not anymore. They may need a couple of new roads, it was the centurion and some mysterious guy who looks like one of those wandering swordsmen in anime, I had to restrain a laugh.

S: What is this casual  Friday, I swear you all wear mask now?
C: you can mock us all you want Gaul but you will never defeat me and my fellow legionnaire.
* At this point the swordsman gives him a weird look, I know man I know*
S:You obviously skipped that part of your research, I'm Irish not french.
C: It doesn't matter you will bleed the same.

The swordsman came at me and kat with a full length katana, not one of those short stabby sticks some proxies have, I just teleported us on top of a building, but when I turned round he was still just there running towards us
I don't know how he did that one but I teleported again to behind the centurion, now he was comming from the other direction, all this time closing in. so I teleported Kat to a safer location, with hindsight I don't know why I did that, and teleported back to the Centurion,

S: This fight was between you and Manic not me or Kat, why do you care if we live or die?
C:  Because you are part of the enemy, and unless you die he will not, certainty is why I do this.
* I felt a tug in my brain taking control*
?: come and get me then.

I telported again but this time it was more precise calculated, I saw the swordsman going after Kat so 'I' went to her aid, with my knife, and appeared infront of the swordsman, "Boo" he took a swing at me and again I vanished, "missed me", again he twirled around I went to the centurion and stole his sword from his scabbard, and was back, "Look I have a sword too" this time I didn't vanish when he strike at me, instead I used the centurion's sword to catch and deflect the blows, he was well trained, either that or he watched to much anime for his own good, as his coat was grossly impracticable  I stabbed the sword through the thick fabric nailing him to the spot as it was so tight and trailing he couldn't take it off. I took my time then, I didn't notice this before behind all the hair but he was wearing a mask, one of those old samurai masks you see in museums, I took it off and the swords man turned out to be a swords woman. I have a rule about not killing woman, call it sexist if you want, but it's one of my rules, so I took the sword back and the sword she had, so she was unarmed but free. She started charging towards me, but Kat had taken one of the swords and stuck it through her the swords woman gasped, and choked, she laughed and wispered, " free atlast", Then the feeling came back, "No your not", this made a look of terror cross her face, then she died.

Then the centurion came up, he had got a power up since we last faced each other as he burst through the floor of the roof, to be honest I almost shat myself, almost. He did his whole speal about my existence being affront to the god 'pluto' and how I must be exorcised from the world, and how this time I won't get teh better of him. The next thing I remember is lying on my back feelign as if a sledge hammer had just struck me in the chest, I was on top of the next building with Centurion on the spot I was standing, that moment I think I had an INVOLUNTARY Bowel movement, emphasising my thought 'Shit' quite well. Kat tried to attack him, but with equally negative results, I had to rely more on strategy than before, So I led him to street level, where in the narrow corridor he couldn't take me from the sides, so I only had to pay attention infront of and behind me, I stayed to the wall on my right side to protect my broken arm, which was healing, but not quick enough.

I tried my usual tactic of teleporting to just behind him with my knife ready but he was just as ready and planted one square in my jaw, that hurt like a bitch I can tell you that, his weakness was his pride and confidence he thought I couldn't beat him in this state, and he probably would have been right, if that presence didn't tug again. It forced me to make many teleports to places around the Centurion, possibly to try and confuse him, it didn't work I ended up on my arse again with more pain than before, then 'I' strted taunting him, this caused him to charge me, 'I' opened up an entrance to the Path, and another behind it, the Centurion charged through coming out the other side, then 'I' planted the knife into his temple, he twitched, and convulsed started beating the ground, the pavement and tarmac cracked under the force of teh blows, and calmly? 'I' backed away my knife still wet with his blood, and watched as he died, slowly. His movements got slower and slower, less and less frantic, the he stopped 'I' walked over to him, and whispered these words into his ear, "There are no gods", he let out a shuddering breath and he was gone 'I' took his sword and cut out his heart and cut off his head, possibly to stop any chance of him coming back. No doubt this mess will be gone by now. I thought I could finally be left in peace, for once, but now Kat's unconscious in the hospital, I have more injuries to make allowances for, but atleast the proxy that hates me the most is dead.

But I didn't kill him,


Thursday, 17 May 2012

Bad memories

Manic said I had to feel, so me and Kat went back to Ireland, to visit my? mothers grave, remember I, I mean Manic said they erased all evidence that me and my family ever existed, they didn't get it all, after we got them all, we salvaged her body and gave her a proper burial, in a graveyard, very catholic woman, god rest her soul. I even made her a headstone, reading 'here lies *Omitted* my mammy, just unlucky', not particularly cheery, but I was emotionally unstable, so can you blame me. I also went to where my father was, or where Sirus buried him, I wanted nothing to do with the man, he was buried beneath a tree with the words, 'gone but not forgotten -Sirus'. Sirus never knew the full truth about our father it would probably destroy him if he found out. I felt sad and angry on the same day, not emotions I've had trouble feeling lately, then Kat took my hand laced her fingers between mine, and hummed, hummed a tune distant and familiar.

I was taken back to a memory, I don't know how old I was, but I could speak a little so old enough, I saw a woman's face looking down on me, smiling, I think it's my mother, she's singing to me, a song so mournful, and full of hurt but she is happy, I just smile and blow a raspberry at her, this just makes her smile harder. I feel happy, a pure happy, due to others, not due to death, I start murmuring words to match those of the song,  'A gentle breeze, from hushabye mountain, gently blows o'er lullaby bay', I remember saying my first words that day, Mammy, I.. I..... * giggling follows for a while*, she looks so happy, I've never made anyone that happy, I start laughing again.

Then I faded back to Kat, away from the memory, her  tune turning darker and more melancholic, I am older old enough to speak properly with proper words, and I had hidden under my duvet hiding from the loud noises down stairs, a mans booming voice filling the entire universe, Sirus was gone, Sirus can't do anything, please let the noises stop, please, please, please mister tall man, please make the noise end, he just looked at me lovingly, arms stretched out in a hug, I gave him a hug and the noise faded away, I woke up in the hospital, not know what happened, I cried out for my mammy, she came running in and hugged me, pain shot through my tiny body, my head hurt like lots of bees got in there and started buzzing, buzz, buzz, buzz, like there was more than one people in there, but they went quite after a while, I forgot the tall man, I didn't forget the noise and the shouting and the pain.

Again I drifted back to Kat who was looking at me with a mix of emotions I couldn't decipher, her song was finished, my hand was still holding hers, we looked at each other for a while, then I cried, as memories I had lost came back, so many memories, worst than before, a mobile spinning in mid air, held by a tall man, my bike being caught before it fell over by the same man, I was never free from him, I was always his nothing I did was good, And I was snapped out of it, by a soft wet pressure on my lips, we were kissing again, even this feels wrong, but when we pull away she looks happy, and I feel better, we sat out whilst it rained, holding each other against the weight of the world, and for the first time in a long time I felt safe, maybe I was the dominant personality, all those memories felt like me not like Manic, I don't know what to think, I guess I have to sign out and think things over, allot.

Wednesday, 16 May 2012

Is this what retirement feels like?

Since me and Kat came back from America we have had very little drama going on. It's weird, it's the first time since the instigation of this blog that nothing is happening, Sirus' agents aren't keeping an eye on us, Slendy is showing little to no interest in us and by my reckoning we are in such an awkward place that no proxies care enough to come after us. To be honest I'm bored, the only problems I have are human problems, like my broken arm the thing with Kat, nothing that really requires mentioning on this blog about the Slender Man, am I like retired or something a...

Ah Sane, so Naive, you really think that things could end that easily, I am warning you things are going to get worst, much worst, to find out go to the man with no face or name, ask him one question and one question only, my favorite question.

...s I may like it this way, no killing, no threat of death, none of my friends in my vicinity dying, you can't blame me for Paul's ineptitude for keeping, his friends safe, but I'm being disrespectful, their probably Alive, probably. So I guess that's my piece for today I'm sorry there's not more fighting or general mayhem, but it is quite on the eastern front.

Peace my brothers and good will,

Monday, 14 May 2012

Fun time with Sane, Perceptual physics

I have been silent for a few days, I know so out of character for me.

I was sorting things out, I have been at my wits ends, jumping at the slightest provocation, police sirens, motorbikes, the wind, The  Bleeding WIND!

I keep hearing voices that aren't mine or Manic's, the other personalities I told you about, as we've said many times before, Manic has been many people, so their remnants are there nudging away at my consciousness I am going insane. Going? was it really a question of going, I was the subjugated personality, never needed to be stable.

I tried to gain some continuity by imitating a dead man I am going to do a perception experiment at stonehenge, he always wanted to test it at a site so fueled by perception, I guess it's my send off, finally.

SO I went to this place and it was dark so anyone who drove past would have their minds filled with fantasies of magic and therefore magnifying any affects the perception has, hopefully.

So I went there with Kat, I guess she was there to make sure I didn't hurt myself too badly. I went to the center and I could feel whatever, energy, that Manic associated with perception, I started off doing little things I knew I could do like teleporting and healing little wounds. I then tried other things I climbed on top of one of the stone arches (allot easier when you can stop yourself semi falling) and jumped, I broke my arm and nose in that incident, I was able to mend my nose but my arm refused to heal, I am putting this down to me not being as skilled as Manic as he'd healed worse than a broken arm. I tried teleporting further distances, it was easier than when I'm in a normal place so I tried teleporting to the pyramids, I'd never been there but I imagined the place and before I knew it it was boiling hot and the pyramids were before me, I teleported back quickly to get Kat and we went to the top of the pyramids.

I kissed her, I don't know why, maybe it was because she looked so beautiful there, or residual emotions from Manic, but she didn't pull away, she stayed there not quite kissing me back, but kissing me. We kept this going for what seemed like an eternity, one pure moment in my entire wretched existence, and then it ended, she looked at me with a look of love but there was uncertainty like she didn't know what she had done, neither did I but we did it again. Until the world around us grew cold, He was there just watching us, we were at stonehenge again, the grass was cold and wet, my face was in the grass and Kat was infront of me and she looked scared, almost in despair, I don't think she could bear losing me aswell, I don't know why. But that is all he did watch and we watched back I held Kat and told her everything would be Okay, but I was scared, not just because of Slendy, but because I was feeling an emotion, something I hadn't felt before. He eventually left and we went back to our little hideaway by the sea.

I don't know anything anymore, things are getting out of hand, and from my experience when that happens, people die.


Friday, 11 May 2012

Why is everyone freaking out about the solstice?


it's just one more day in the continuity that is time, there's worries about the quiet, Slendy, almost everything, Paul is suppose to die on the solstice.
Do people need reminding this day is no less important that any other the past two have passed relatively without incident, people go and face Slendy and die, like any day, yet people still have forebodings and plans for that day. You want to know what I'll be doing, drinking, that's right, even if it 'is' the end of the world I shall be to pissed to notice and or care so if I'm wrong it doesn't matter it is merely the end of time, as if there is no matter to change then time becomes pointless.

K, rant over, I came on now because, I haven't been feeling right. I'm finding it hard to keep a train of thought, or carry a conversation with people, but, I'm starting to hear voices, or more accurately Manic's , I'm just going to have to chalk it up to denial and general instability. As Manic is dead I have accepted that but I carry conversations with him, he tells me things, Ideas, Plans, complexities even he didn't know about the universe, Manic can take alot but I doubt all this knowledge would fit in his head. He repeats one thing alot, 'the path to my salvation lies on the path of revenge, on the path of death, on the path to new life', it all just sound liek absolute Bollocks to me. I hope it is just a remnant of Manic's madness,  a conversation we had which I had forgotten, I hope it is that otherwise, I dare not think of the alternative, I don't seek revenge and I don't particularly want to die so I can't see what he means, he can't mean that path as I can't walk it without being dismembered then negated from existence, it must be Manic's madness lingering he had alot of it in his last few days, it must be.

I thought I'd jump in here for a second as my view hasn't been expressed for a while and Sane looks like he;s about to have a manic episode. I want to address the selfishness of Paul, the near undead bastard, how could you leave Maya like that don't you think it would be kinder to let you two die together than to leave her lamenting lost love, you don't know the feeling, I can't believe it especially after what Manic told me about you.

And don't be so pretentious to think that people die 'for you', people die for themselves of their own choices, people are not so weak willed, Manic's death wasn't to save anyone let alone you, it had nothing to do with you, he made a decision, a selfish decision like you have, for himself, if Maya died it was for 'her' love of you,if  Antonio and Manic died it would have been for 'Their' loyalty and friendship. If you were to march to the gates of hell do so with friends as it crueler to leave them behind, and let each man search their own soul to decide if it's best for them.

I'm tired I haven't been able to sleep properly I hear Manic's voice, I tell myself it's just sane Sleep talking, but it always sounds like it's talking to me, I don't think Sane's madness is confined to him, maybe Manic wasn't a man, he could still be here somehow, forcing his consciousness on us, maybe none of this is real, maybe he is manipulating all of it, but that's impossible, Right?


Wednesday, 9 May 2012

notes on good old, Landan tawn.

It feels so good to be in London again, all the people that look like they actually run, some places, the tube, I love the tube. And we met Sirus, he was, surprisingly, happy to see me, not so much Kat but he thought she was dead and has a (Quasi) army ready to fight proxies, so she may have felt slightly uncomfortable, slightly? She was ready to bolt from the building but I knew Sirus had Tom's and Aoife's address so we needed him.

Good news  is that they haven't moved so I can be certain of some of the places that they won't go, the bad news is that Sirus has people watching them and apparently Aoife has a notebook that contains 'dreams' that involve Manic so maybe the mind wipe wasn't completely successful, I have a feeling this will escalate.

I met Unicorn again, he didn't seem particularly happy to see me, but he can't fight for shit so what do I care, he's lost his hipster haircut in favour for one that looks, suspiciously like mine. Also I met that girl Red again turns out she has a sister with blue hair so I called her Blue. I turns out that Sirus has alot more recruits and has been training them, I could see that I had to teach them a thing or two so whilst they were 'training' I came in and offered to fight anyone who wanted to. A small one was thrown out in front of me, I took my place ready to fight and I couldn't see him anymore, Confused I turned around just to see him with a cricket bat that would have been painful, if it connected, I just stopped it and teleported behind him getting him in a hold so I could get  him to tap out, but being small he wriggled out and tried again, this time aiming for my knees, I jumped and caught him in the chin with my knee, he went flying back so I could get my knife out and stop him, I was on him, but only just the fight was over, I assumed he was good as everyone gasped and stared at me, the kid looked at me like a stain, I'll call him Kid due to his size and temperament.

Unicorn came out next, I thought Manic would enjoy this so much if he was here, then I remembered he wasn't. He started us off with a knife that looked similar to mine but not as sharp, obviously, and charged in low ready to get me in a load bearing appendage, I clocked him outside the head with a punch and he stumbled back, at least he can take a punch now, he tried again, this time faining as he did so for my leg but instead went for my abdomen, I have a feeling my safety is not a paramount concern for them, I teleported just behind him and tapped him on the shoulder, I know it's lazy not to actually fight him but taking the piss out off him is more fun, he turned round read to plant it in my head I caught his wrist, just, and broke it, no one tries to kill me, I proceeded to pummel the living day light out of him punches to the kidneys, duodenum, the ribs, the legs, his face, he was stumbling by the time I stopped to rest, again he charged I had had enough of this so I opened up a entrance to the path with the knife so he would run straight into it, but Sirus appeared and grabbed him before he fell in I could see a creature retreat in disappointment so was I.

S: Sane! What are you doing?
M: testing your recruits.
S: It looked like you are trying to kill this one.
M: Well he tried to kill me first he aimed a knife at my head, I'm not even sure I could heal that.
S: You have to leave them alone Manic war is not your arena.
M: Did you just call me Manic?
S: Yes brother I did isn't that your name?
*He looked angry*
M: I am not Manic, he's dead, it's just me Sane, I was born for war but no longer has the hunger for it, so your arena can be yours but I will not be killed by a hipster in a basement, so I advise you to step aside so I can Kill! him.

K: Sane, calm down Manic wouldn't want this, these people don't know you they don't know how far to push, you need to learn to control your anger, you can't count on Manic coming in and saving everyone if you snap, as you said, He's dead. And you Sirus, you should have you recruits aiming kill shots in training it's just not right.
S: What do you know, you're just a little proxy girl without a friend.

* I blinked and I missed it, Kat had taken my knife and was on Sirus, with it at his throat*

K: You don't know me you misogynistic cunt, I am only restraining myself as Manic wouldn't want me killing his brother, I'm leaving now, and if I see you anywhere near me or him again I will kill you.

*She turns to me hand me my knife and says he's a dick, I say I know*

She shivered slightly but keeps walking, we took our supplies and we are now in Southampton not far from stonehenge, I can feel eh perceptual energy, Manic must have become quite attuned to it, I may try a few experiments there to see if there is any claim to this magic that emanates there.

Keep breathing,

Sunday, 6 May 2012

A decision

It's Sane here, me and Kat are leaving America, we are going back to the UK, maybe Ireland, Sirus still has his base, and now that Manic is gone, there should be no more moral issues between us, I should mend the bridges Manic burned, he complained about me burning mine, I just have to trust him. After all the last words on both our notes were, 'don't worry there is a plan' I don't see how even he can come back from the dead so I think it was just wishful thinking on his part, I'm even starting to feel his memories without me fading away, only the knowledge he acquired stays, dates, names, numbers.

There's one danger however when we go back to London Tom and Aoife could see us and remember everything. We must go and see Sirus first, I hope he doesn't kill the body, I mean me, it's only me now. I have been playing with the knife for a few hours now absent mindedly opening small gaps in reality to test something, I think Manic was right, I have trouble crossing over the threshold let alone venturing any further into the path. I've had to use Manic's perceptual healing to cure myself of some grievous wounds,  reminder to not fuck with the path, I tried getting Kat to see if she was still a proxy, she just ignored me, I put a blanket around her, and said to her I know, she broke down crying, I forgot me and Manic have the same voice when I said those words it triggered something in her, I just held her and repeated the words until she stopped crying and fell asleep.

I thought it was hard on me, I may have lost half of myself, but she.... she lost the best thing that ever happened to her, the Man she loved returned after so long alive. She doesn't love me it was always Manic, I am just a thief, I catch her, sometimes behind my back, she looks at me with disgust, and loathing, it doesn't help me feel better, I already wish it was me instead of him to 'die', if that's the right word here, but I'm not and Manic's still dead. So I have to keep living for him, have I ever did something completely against Manic... no I haven't even those deaths he was with me for those, I have never lived for myself, always for Manic, at his Whim. I still can't see how I'll survive, I have this.... existential fear that I will just cease and my self shall just dissipate, *poof* like dust in the wind. Now this post is getting me down.

So me and Kat are leaving, seeking refuge in our own corner of hell, we won't come back her, probably, so if you need something ask now, as it is unlikely we'll be able to come after tomorrow.

Live, Learn, Love, Die.

How it's always been, even for Manic,

-Sane Soliloquy

Saturday, 5 May 2012

Manics notes, no 1

If this note has been posted then my Plan was unfortunately successful, if this is the case Sane should be free of the Slender Mans control and have control over my body. He should be free as I was the one that made the deal not him, may you finally use your freedom wisely, Sane. Kat has Sane to keep her company, it's a hollow and insufficient constilation, but I have no place left in this world, every thing I have done is dead, or lost to me, Aoife and Tom can no longer console me, Kat is a proxy with jobs and targets, and these days Sane is a sleep whilst I have control and Vice Versa. Surely this will be for the best Sane will no doubt blame Patch, Maya and Antonio, and Maya may blame it on me watching over them, but the reason is much more profound than that.

For as long as I have run from the Slender Man I have had to employ logic to stay alive, and to do that  I needed an Illogical self to counterbalance it, hence the birth of Sane, or maybe I was mad and I, Manic, am the creation of thought, but that is in the past and unimportant right now. The point of this post is to inform those that came to know me and those that knew me for longer still, I choose this, nothing got the better for me, and the reasons for my actions were my own, don't shed many tears for me for I am dead and dead men need no love.

Sane as you are free you have to embrace what you have always resisted, empathy, emotion, you think I survived by being cold and calculated, I survived off being compassionate and caring, having people I could count on in my hours of need, if I was in trouble I have a number of people I could have contacted so Don't blame them.

Maya, Pay heed to what I said about Patch, he may be alive but I wouldn't trust him now as far as I could throw him, but there may be a way to save him but I dismissed it, to get to it you'll have to trust Sane, I know I'm a dick sometime.

Antonio, read more, the answer lies out there in the wide world of the internet and the blogs, I didn't acquire my knowledge from nowhere, you know the answers already anyway, in that little head of yours. Just do me a favour when you quite the 'firm' don't do anything stupid like leaving vindictive proxies alive, but hey I just lived through this for most of my life.

Patch, You dead guy, I shall give you the same advice as always, forget your revenge, it will destroy you otherwise, I should know mine almost killed me. And finally Marry Maya if you don't I'll come back and Haunt your fucking Arse, I'd like to see you swing your stick at a ghost, she's endured hell for you forget revenge love now.

And last and most importantly Kat, I loved you, and still do, I probably will until the moment my -ness is terminated. And all the words I can tell you are ' I know', remember our Lullaby as long as you sing that I will be there with you, maybe not in body or spirit, but in your heart for sure.

And Kat, Sane, Check underneath the floor board on my side of the bed, Sane our knife should be there and two notes that are specific to you two.

Everyone else, Fuck you I'm signing out for the last time


Yeah we found this on the computer in a word document, and we found the knife and notes, they are to personal to reveal to you but Kat hasn't stopped crying since she read hers. If you don't trust us fair enough. I don't know with my 'freedom' now, no one not even Manic restraining me, I should kill, but the feeling isn't there, is this guilt, remorse, self loathing, no wonder Manic topped himself with these things in him. But yes I posted this as it is the last thing he wrote.

Friday, 4 May 2012

I don't know what's going on?

I don't know what's going on, I woke up in Ireland this morning in my old town, I don't know why, I just assumed Manic took me there and lost hold so I took control.

I came back to Kat and it was all fine till I felt,..... Empty? Like I was missing something, Kat also said I kept phasing out of our conversation like my mind just went into sleep mode, I tried communicating with Manic but when......... When I groped in my mind I came against nothing, no tangible thread, his memories and knowledge were still there but, the 'thing', the Essence that was Manic was gone.I can't ....... I can't survive without Manic, what if I dissipate like a ghost, not even him being here to ground me, WHY? WHY DID HE LEAVE!!!!??? Manic, please come back, please don't be dead, Manic,........ Manic!!!! I  can't truly be talking to myself, now, .... now I have no one, I blame you Maya, Antonio, Patch, you were the last good thing he tried to do and you fucked it up, nothing is left of Manic, only me, only a ghost. Huh, he always said we were just ghosts, passing through, never really touching anyone, or anything, that's what I am now, nothing left to interact with, no substance, nothing, A soliloquy at last.

MANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know you're alive Manic, come back,........ come back.

Sane is sobbing, I've.... I've never seen him, sad? Let alone crying, I guess it shows you, despite the taunts and banter, Sane needed and loved Manic, I knew only he could be so narcissistic.

But I miss him already, Manic the man who would sunder the curtain of death to save those he loved, the man that sold his soul to the slender man to help those he cared about.And yet, this great man will be but a foot note in the history of this struggle, just another courageous person lost amoungst the swathes. I guess the only thing I'm asking now is for you to remember, that a man called Manic, lost to himself and the world found his way back, learned to love again, and sacrificed himself to save them, Sane is Sobbing curled up, I won't let my emotions out on this public forum, it isn't the right place, not for me, my morning is private and deeper still.

For the last time you'll see theses words in his memory,
Stay Sharp, Stay Safe And Stay Alive
At last, Rest In Peace.

-Kat and Sane

Thursday, 3 May 2012

A long pause in thought

it has been a while since I have typed up a thought experiment, I'm not sure I can reason logically anymore, where did we leave off, I believe it was freedom, Dimensional bleeding, and some other stuff, that wasn't particularly important, I also did the ineffability of the Human Soul.

What to move on to, Life, I haven't discussed life in a while, life is a curious term how do we know something is alive?, We have only our senses to tell us what is real, and what of they deceive us, is anyone we perceive to be alive really so? Am I alive or merely reviewing my life in the last tangible moments of existence? Is Patch really alive, I may not know how to define life but death I can, Death is the complete and total cessation of all life, Such as brain death, no heart beat, But Patch must have, at least some, of these as he talked and reasoned with me. So he may have died but he is no longer dead.

All the laws we have are self imposed, by humans, those of religion, of the state, we manufacture them ourselves, what limits this to the outside maybe this is what it is on the inside, maybe we are merely brains in a nutrient suspension?, Can we truly call such a state, if it is true, as free? Does a man in a locked room who doesn't know he is trapped any freer than the one who does, no they are both as restricted but one is more aware of it. This leads people to take uncompromising positions, in religion, and politics, things that will last after them, to legitimise, 'I Was Here', or so they can experience something beyond our 'physical' world, But what if the entire of human history never actually happened, that our worlds are merely figments of our imagination, what would that mean for us, we would then have to question our own existence, whether we are truly real, or merely figments of a larger imagination,.... like Christianity.

Am I really a person, do I have intrinsic value, if Sane was to wipe me from my mind now, would it be murder, or was I just imagination that got out of control, I have been in more than one reality, I have experienced many levels of hell, how my body reacts has been how I'd expect it to react, it would burn in fire and it would freeze in ice, it would heal wounds and open sphincters. Is any of this truly worth the effort of saving, the Slender Man is a beast that is borne of our perception like the world, so when we die we no longer need to fear him. I am tired of fighting, and running, and losing those I care about, I am lost in this large world with nothing left to anchor me, I could just drift off and no one would be the wiser, Kat would forget, Patch, Maya and  Antonio would move on and find another Genius, and Sane could have my Body, The Slender Man my soul, Everyone would be happy.

After All, none of it is real, is it?

-Manic Muse

Wednesday, 2 May 2012

A talk with Patch

Well for those that have been particularly attentive I have finally made contact with Patch, so I went, without telling Kat or obtaining her permission, opps.

So I waited outside the address that he gave me, when suddenly he appeared behind me, which shocked me, as I wasn't expecting him to be so sneaky, the sneaky devil.

Patch: Hey Manic.
Me: *Confused* *Random pointing*
P: I will explain, just follow me.

We wound up in a park I didn't know, I'm merely assuming his sanctuary was near there.

Soon I noticed something, something about Patch, that didn't have the right -ness, I saw him but my eyes passed over him, When I touched him my hands never truly touched him, when I spoke to him his responses seemed like those that were whispered from a distance. I see why Kat explained him the way she did.

M: So...
P: So.
M: Where are you staying and why?
P: I don't know, I just know it's safe, it's not safe out there with you and Antonio.
M: If it's so safe why don't you bring Antonio in here as well, isn't he your friend as well?
P: Don't say stuff like that Manic, you understand we sacrifice certain things to keep our loved ones safe.
M: *I nod* But answer the questions.
P: *Sigh* Because he is a proxy.
M: What ?
P: I have found that proxies can't really 'exist' in the place, it's sort of an antithesis, to .. antithesis, a place that can't hold proxies full stop.
M: It is sort of a loop world outside reality?
P: *Shrug* I guess, I just know it's not part of 'earth'
M: Yeah, loop worlds are slices of space that exist outside conventional space and time, this one obviously works on the same sort of linear time line.
P: *looking slightly confused, bored and tired* Manic!
M: Oh yeah, sorry. Do you mind if I ask, are you actually a proxy?
P: No!.... But I can do somethings.
M: Show me.

Patch, does some teleporting, Patch has some elevated speed and strength, perks that come with being a proxy, but he insists he's not a slave or servant of the Slender Man, and that the powers didn't come from him.

M:  Is that all? *I asked jokingly*
P: Not quite.

He reaches inside my coat, I am about to try and break his arm when he pulls out his Bokken from the inside of 'MY' coat.
P: I can pull this out of anywhere people can't see it, and I can store it the same way.

(I guess that explains how you couldn't find it Antonio.)

That's also the way I get into and out of the Sanctuary, I can only get in or out when no one can see me.
M: Sure you should be telling me this?
P: Well no one else knows the address, so it doesn't matter if people know as they can't find me anyway. No one else knows right?
M: No one else knows, I deleted the E-mail right after I read it, even Sane doesn't know how I got here. But that is a pretty substantial weakness.
P: Nothing is a hundred percent safe, not even Antithesis.

Patch becomes Somber shortly after the statement.

I wait a while for him to speak when suddenly he says:
P: Apparently if Ryan didn't become a proxy, then he would have been able to do this as well, given time.. I don't know if the fact I died had anything to do with me being able to do this now, but... well hey I died.. No heart beat, brain death, the works... Apparently I wouldn't have made a good test subject in that state so I was brought back to life... Somehow.

M: Maybe, Your death may have made you a better conduit to connect the two realities, you for awhile ceased to be, then you 'were again.
P: Yeah. *He says with a lack of enthusiasm*
M:Do you remember what happened ?
P: Well I'm kinda vague on the details, I remember as my life trickled out and I passed beyond the path, that there were 6 proxies with me, blank faced like they were directly controlled by him.. I don't remember much else until I woke up in there. Do you know what they were Manic?
P: Manic?
M: *Whispered* no
P: Then I guess there's no point in talking about it.I guess you'll want to have a closer look at the Bokken.
*I nod* he takes it out of it's sheath and hands it to me to inspect.

As soon as I touched it I knew it wasn't regular wood, wood doesn't usually feel this dead.

M: The Bleeding tree, *I murmured*
M: The bleeding tree, it is thought to have a connection with the path and the Slender Man, it has something to do with the apocalyptic syringes that Redlight gave Morningstar.
P: Who?
M: Oh yeah, you never read that many blogs, Well Redlight was killed by one of these types of trees growing out of him.
P: Wait did you say grow?
M: It may be something that can harm the Slender Man, may have been why the proxies were needed.
P: Manic answer me!
M: What, yes it grew out of him and that was after a few drops, I don't like this Bokken, it is possibly more dangerous than any steel sword, I just hope I'm wrong.

We spent a little while longer talking about pointless things then I left, Antonio I hope this explains some things to you.

To all those out there, running, fighting, sacrificing to stay alive, I offer you the same wishes as always,

Stay Sharp, Stay Safe, and Stay Alive

-Manic Muse


Manic, yes he is Manic again, has gone out on a little bit of a rampage.

As Paul has gotten himself into alot of trouble and got Maya, his little 'plaything', injured quite badly, so Manic is looking for places where he could be, places where he can't, or won't, post from.
He should be asleep it is way to early to be sorting out this shit, he is also searching for the antithesis place in Pittsburgh, so he can organise stuff with that Antonio proxy/ traitor, I don't know I don't particularly care if he lives or dies, I only care about their ability to get Manic killed, and yes I had to promise him I wouldn't try to kill you, Sane is also slightly pissed as Slendy, our dear boss, didn't tell him this information, so now he is sulking and having fun watching Manic rage.

Manic is also pissed as he sold his soul to keep those three safe, including Paul, but Paul isn't safe, or apparently alive, I don't know actually as Manic had some argument to state he was alive. He was also muttering something about, 'please don't let it be a fear thing', as he put on his long coat, Manic doesn't like smart clothes, it always looks overly scuffed and open, he doesn't look trim and smart. But he's a big boy he can choose himself.

Why am I even posting I could be out making sure he doesn't get himself killed, but you know what it's to early and Manic would be teleporting alot, it just wouldn't be fun, he'll come back eventually with nothing and we can put this all behind us, hopefully.

Tuesday, 1 May 2012

Let me See

Well, let me start of this post by pointing out that Maya is very touchy and hostile towards me, big shock there, hehehe, you'd have thought her anger would be directed at Antonio who put her under, but it is not my post to day, no. Manic has been beating at the barriers between us for ages, especially over that core theory thing, and with his 'logical' progression of Pauls fate. So over to my 'better' half, won't this be enjoyable Maya >:)

Thank you dick shit, fells good to have control of 'MY' body for a change, but I can't blame Sane, he is sort of like a coping mechanism, when I have to kill, or a situation debilitates me, Sane steps in and protects my body and mind.

But yes the resurgence of Core theory by the Overseer, I'm pretty sure you have all seen it, and know about it, if not do your research, ya lazy son of a......., Oh lord, my Anger hasn't got better. But if you noticed I don't completely disprove of Core theory, if anything I tried modifying it, just not to include the title, my Perceptual Physics was essentially Core theory, where our perception of events helped shaped them, I know however that I didn't set boundaries, so again it was ridiculed for giving people God like powers, but I didn't set boundaries, as to be honest I didn't want any as the human mind is boundless, to a point. But I approve of what the Overseer is doing, the titles weren't given to random people, they were already intrinsic to the person so the person is that thing regardless, unlike Sagel's titles that involved giving it to someone and hoping it doesn't go to their head, hint hint cough cough, Zero. Okay maybe I'm a bit harsh on Zero I do agree with his concept of the story that can change perception so we can win, this was all written in my Blog long ago, why am I typing this now?
My problem however, is that his Core theory is contingent on the death of people which I don't agree with.

And my Point to Maya, You know I have been in this a long time, longer than both you and Patch, you shouldn't DARE! Dismiss any advice given, the truth is unknown, so all possibilities have to be conceived, You CANNOT! Blindly think that Patch isn't a proxy, that he isn't one of the Numb, or maybe he was a plant, made to draw me you and Antonio in to the palm of the Slender Man's hand. You Naive girl, you let your emotions drive and Blind you, the logical progression Sane talked about is exactly that Logical.

We know that Patch is killing people, we know that he choose to chase Ryan than go back to you, we know that Patch spent an obscenely long time in the path and lived, we know when me and Antonio saw him  Patch wasn't scared or panicked or even bleeding anymore. I know he threatened Manic, possibly the one person he trusts most in this thing, so this has led me to my conclusion.

The only way to set Patch free from his servitude, he is not just a slave of the Slender Man, he is a Slave to his hate, and You nor Antonio will be safe until his death. Especially as if he has been partially Numbed, I don't have Tom to help with the Procedure.

Until you accept that can no longer help you so fully, just bear in Mind Patch trusted me, more than you.

To all,
Stay Safe, Stay Sharp and Stay Alive