Friday, 4 May 2012

I don't know what's going on?

I don't know what's going on, I woke up in Ireland this morning in my old town, I don't know why, I just assumed Manic took me there and lost hold so I took control.

I came back to Kat and it was all fine till I felt,..... Empty? Like I was missing something, Kat also said I kept phasing out of our conversation like my mind just went into sleep mode, I tried communicating with Manic but when......... When I groped in my mind I came against nothing, no tangible thread, his memories and knowledge were still there but, the 'thing', the Essence that was Manic was gone.I can't ....... I can't survive without Manic, what if I dissipate like a ghost, not even him being here to ground me, WHY? WHY DID HE LEAVE!!!!??? Manic, please come back, please don't be dead, Manic,........ Manic!!!! I  can't truly be talking to myself, now, .... now I have no one, I blame you Maya, Antonio, Patch, you were the last good thing he tried to do and you fucked it up, nothing is left of Manic, only me, only a ghost. Huh, he always said we were just ghosts, passing through, never really touching anyone, or anything, that's what I am now, nothing left to interact with, no substance, nothing, A soliloquy at last.

MANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know you're alive Manic, come back,........ come back.

Sane is sobbing, I've.... I've never seen him, sad? Let alone crying, I guess it shows you, despite the taunts and banter, Sane needed and loved Manic, I knew only he could be so narcissistic.

But I miss him already, Manic the man who would sunder the curtain of death to save those he loved, the man that sold his soul to the slender man to help those he cared about.And yet, this great man will be but a foot note in the history of this struggle, just another courageous person lost amoungst the swathes. I guess the only thing I'm asking now is for you to remember, that a man called Manic, lost to himself and the world found his way back, learned to love again, and sacrificed himself to save them, Sane is Sobbing curled up, I won't let my emotions out on this public forum, it isn't the right place, not for me, my morning is private and deeper still.

For the last time you'll see theses words in his memory,
Stay Sharp, Stay Safe And Stay Alive
At last, Rest In Peace.

-Kat and Sane

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