Hi, I don't know how to start this off apart from saying sorry to Aoife, she isn't really talking to me, and with Manic and Tom doing their thing I have no one to talk to, so I'm talking to all you faceless people, yay.
I don't even know what to say to you all, Manic is the one who talks, and talks and makes it seem like there's a plan, that he's not just winging it as he goes. He can make people listen if he want's but he doesn't want people to know what he's doing right now, he won't even tell me, all I hear is swearing and explosions. And as you lot probably think I'm soft in the head already I can't say much that will convince you otherwise, you see me as crazy when Manic is talking to some random block of wood that is just fucking with him, and reading a book that won't even help him I bet, and he's not paying enough attention to 'ME!'. I put on the face that I'm fine, I know what he's doing is of some importance but I still want him to come and lie with me all day or atleast at all night, so I know that my world hasn't completely fallen apart.
But no he has his project that seems to take up most of his and Tom's time, I never feel him slide into bed before 1 o'clock in the morning. I'm not bitter, I know what he's doing is important to him, but I get this thoughts, I just can't control them, HE gets in, He tells me to do bad things, that if I do them I'll get Patrick back, HE says if I kill Manic we can all be free, I've even found myself standing over Manic with a pillow in my hands, I've come too close so many times, 3 days ago I had the pillow almost over his face, that face, his face that almost cocky grin on it even in sleep. But I can't do it and I won't do it, Slender Man isn't going to use me that way, I won't kill Manic, I lost him once I won't again.
I think we've done a good job over the few month to portray like we have some sanity left, I don't know how long the veneer will last before it crack and all the shit it hides comes spewing forth.
Manic's coming down for lunch now, I have to go I'll make sure he doesn't check for a couple of days, he'll forget about me typing on his laptop by then.