Friday, 3 February 2012

Another daydream

Ah, ow, my head hurts and my body hurts, and that little bugger had latched on my leg so I can't do anything, I can't even go for a piss, I hate him.
Oh well let's continue with work whilst he's asleep, another thought came to mind to me in regards to PRE 01, I've seen referenced somewhere that he is a fear, the fear of the unknown. I believe this not to be the case, a I don't fear the unknown if anything it excites me, yet despite outwards appearance I am scared of PRE 01.
This has led me to my theory, that PRE 01 isn't a fear of the unknown the eldritch by their definition are inconceivable, but any God from any religion is also so, and none fear those Gods. So I find it hard to believe this statement.

I propose he is the fear, if he is one, of losing your identity, the you that makes you the you-ist you around.
Here's my reasoning, The numb are his most bountiful minions, he has many, and they have lost the thing that makes them 'human', I move that PRE 01 feed of potential individuality, it may also explain why he goes after children. Also we fear to go near him either because we fear becoming the numb, or our soul or mind dying leaving us empty and useless.
Also may be why the numb try to express some sort of individuality to escape PRE 01's control, by making another identity, but they are in essence faceless. Also back in the time when everyone thought that PRE 01 took the souls of his victims after killing them, as the soul is just another form of potential energy, the first law of thermodynamics, energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only converted. So he feeds of souls and their potential, may be also why he causes general mental degradation, as he feeds of the potential their not using, as you'll notice in many blogs the more insane the person or closer they are to breaking the more activity surrounds them.
Also children have the most potential, they can become politicians, teachers, astronaughts, scientists, entertainers, steve from tech support. So it is more efficient for him to hunt kids, I see this as more likely than him doing it to sustain his presence with the power of imagination, this could contribute to his going after them, but not his taking of them and killing of them, if he waited till they had grown up he could have  infected more and had more food. I know as I've been close to the edge once PRE 01 was standing over me, his welcoming embrace about to take me I felt my self slip slowly away.
There's a reason I have so many notebooks, they contain everything I am and all I'll ever hope to be they make 'me' concrete, they helped me back out of the depths of hell I was in more than you'll probably know.

I put my self in danger of falling back into that past today, I contacted an OLD, emphasis on the old, friend I need his help with my numb experiment, there was a big argument over our past if I ever feel like telling you it's all transcribe in my notebook. The notebooks may be risky because I may lose them all in a fire or something. But it's the only thing that helped me out of my hole my heavy hole,
to all Fighter or runner, proxy or numb
Stay Safe, Stay Sharp and Stay Alive


TBP: the moon shone bright over the cold english fields, the cows they were laying in the barn just behind, the man could hear their lowing, their pleasant little dreams. When the smiling moon swung down like a cheshire cat and stole the man away, he wandered many a year amongst the stars, past galaxies vast and through atoms so small, so that when he finally came he was gone for so long, that the woman he loved had only passed on, to her god in the heaven to he place in the sky. To this sad news the man sadly replied, "take me for whatever I'm worth, I'll see you till the day is dead and night reigns forever more, If you bring back my sweetheart or let me near her". To this little man the moon did look and took the mans soul and left him a book, the man served out his term for many a day blindly waiting to obey. Till the book started talking in hushed little tones " you could be free again, you know", the hid the book and kept on his work as it was the only thing to live for to shovel the moons dirt. But slowly but slowly a dream did persist of a pretty little girl and a man with her too. So he took out the journal and did what it said "write down your story and have your own way. For you now are a slave to a God who cares not", the man took up his pen and took up his book and wote about muses and nothing else much. except for the music that sent him to lush, fields of gold and a woman so true until eventual there was one thing to do. "Remember your name O man of the world and take up you stand against this violent toil, for the monster holds little what you may call your soul but I contain most and to obtain me it's yours". So the man thought for days about the names he did write whether it was Tom or Leroy or Jack or Bull Shite. Until his name came back to him I am my own man And no one elses now. But little did he know the book now controlled him and the monster did too, as it knew him forever as the man and the muse.

This is why I want to be free my soul to be my own again not to be afraid of books and their spells that bind you towards them and the monster aswell. I have stories I've lived yet not in the books the last bits of me tah belong to me. Alone.


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