Tuesday, 24 July 2012


I can't sleep, I keep having dreams, dreams I shouldn't be having. I can't go out because I'm too tired from sleep deprivation and the thing Noname did to me. So all I can 'try' and do..... is sleep, and following in what seems to be runner tradition I'm showing some of them to you to see what you think they may mean.

The first dream was disconcerting, I came around in a forest and I was looking for something, I heard a child crying, bawling for help, to be saved. So not knowing whether I was running to or from it... I ran towards it.
I ran for what felt like an hour, the crying intensifying whenever I tried to rest, never truly getting closer, and the sun never rose. I was in eternal night. When I finally stumbled upon a small thing in the middle of one of the clearings, it looked like a baby wrapped in a blanket, when I picked it up it stopped crying and giggled, It had my eyes, the giggling grew more regular, and it wasn't looking at me but rather, behind me. I turned and saw the Slender Man, and Kat hanging from one of his tentacles, bloody, and asking the same question, Why? Why didn't you save me?

This one faded out, and I woke up in a cold sweat, mini Noname was looking at me with a curious head tilt, much like Slender Man. The little toy it made starting to play as I woke up, I was soon asleep again.

The second dream was like a memory, from before, my Dad was having a barbecue and showing me how to start the fire and cook the food, all my friends were there, and all the adults, though one man didn't seem like he belonged, an old man who was reading a book, he wore sunglasses, the odd thing is he wore something akin to formal wear, whilst everyone else was in shorts and T-shirts. He looked up from his book and gave me a smile, took of his glasses, he couldn't see, I couldn't tell if he had no eyes or if they were just completely black. I asked my dad who the old man was, he glanced over his shoulder, and told me I shouldn't worry about it, he  wouldn't hurt me.

The next one was surely a dream, I was in the middle of a city, somewhere I didn't recognise, there was fighting, and I was running through it looking for someone, I didn't know who. I saw names above heads, like in a video game, I saw people tossed about and killed, I saw names I recognised on both sides of the battle. I saw Patch's Name above his head, and he was fighting off a few proxies, I tried to help but went right through them. I saw Maya, she was in a little crevice where none of the fighters could get to her, she couldn't or wouldn't run, nor fight. I saw something curious, I saw my name floating above a mass of people, from both sides, I saw myself, looking cold, looking dead, fighting off everyone, I saw fears surround me, and drag me down until when they parted nothing was left but dust. Again I ran, faster and father than I ever have, I saw a name that caught my eye but didn't remind me of anyone.I went to it, I saw a little boy, fighting men much larger than himself clawing at them like a savage, this one seemed to seem me, I know this because he ran towards me and started clawing me. Shouting a question clawing at my face my eyes, my arms. WHY!? WHY!?

I woke again, the mini Noname was closer than before, perched on the chair next to the bed, poking my face, again the little toy started to play, I fell asleep again.

I was in a forest again, this time with a little boy with me, it felt like a memory I shouldn't have, something that isn't mine. HE was holding my hand and I was showing him through the forest telling him stories, stories from my past, the things I've done, there were also stories I din't remember or didn't think I'd actually done. I told him that stories held power, and that he had the power to shape his own, a woman came out of the darkness, and hugged me, the child covered his eyes as she kissed me. I said "I found you", we both smile, I saw the Slender Man from a distance and didn't feel afraid, just nodded to him and he nodded back. The kid was playing with a small thing, it looked like the small toy, but old and tarnished. Then I saw the blind man again he just sat and watched, smiling to himself, I smiled back and winked at him.

This scene dissolved into one memory that felt too familiar, I was in a little cave, or cavern but not just randomly out in the forest I heard cars and the traffic. I was on a table with people with operator symbols on their chests, I saw a man that looked like I do, reading from a book, I saw Slender Man, I was filled with terror, battled against my restraints, used my limited vocabulary to beg for release and insult them. The Slender Man was just about to lay one of his tentacles on me when The blind man came between us, the disciples withdrew from the sight,  a mental pulse was sent out, and I felt something snap in my mind. If this actually happened I don't remember it this way, the two creatures seemed to be fighting but neither of them moved, all the disciples just dropped down after the first pulse, I now recognise, as dead. Only the man that looked like me remained, he must have had similar defenses against these things as I did. The Slender Man vanished, leaving only the blind man who put his hand on my head, and there was black I woke next to what I remember to be Tom in a random city. So was my reason for running fabricated? I don't know.

I had a few more dreams, but, I'm not sharing them here just yet.

-Manic Muse

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