Another daydream

Ah, ow, my head hurts and my body hurts, and that little bugger had latched on my leg so I can't do anything, I can't even go for a piss, I hate him.
Oh well let's continue with work whilst he's asleep, another thought came to mind to me in regards to PRE 01, I've seen referenced somewhere that he is a fear, the fear of the unknown. I believe this not to be the case, a I don't fear the unknown if anything it excites me, yet despite outwards appearance I am scared of PRE 01.
This has led me to my theory, that PRE 01 isn't a fear of the unknown the eldritch by their definition are inconceivable, but any God from any religion is also so, and none fear those Gods. So I find it hard to believe this statement.

I propose he is the fear, if he is one, of losing your identity, the you that makes you the you-ist you around.
Here's my reasoning, The numb are his most bountiful minions, he has many, and they have lost the thing that makes them 'human', I move that PRE 01 feed of potential individuality, it may also explain why he goes after children. Also we fear to go near him either because we fear becoming the numb, or our soul or mind dying leaving us empty and useless.
Also may be why the numb try to express some sort of individuality to escape PRE 01's control, by making another identity, but they are in essence faceless. Also back in the time when everyone thought that PRE 01 took the souls of his victims after killing them, as the soul is just another form of potential energy, the first law of thermodynamics, energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only converted. So he feeds of souls and their potential, may be also why he causes general mental degradation, as he feeds of the potential their not using, as you'll notice in many blogs the more insane the person or closer they are to breaking the more activity surrounds them.
Also children have the most potential, they can become politicians, teachers, astronaughts, scientists, entertainers, steve from tech support. So it is more efficient for him to hunt kids, I see this as more likely than him doing it to sustain his presence with the power of imagination, this could contribute to his going after them, but not his taking of them and killing of them, if he waited till they had grown up he could have  infected more and had more food. I know as I've been close to the edge once PRE 01 was standing over me, his welcoming embrace about to take me I felt my self slip slowly away.
There's a reason I have so many notebooks, they contain everything I am and all I'll ever hope to be they make 'me' concrete, they helped me back out of the depths of hell I was in more than you'll probably know.

I put my self in danger of falling back into that past today, I contacted an OLD, emphasis on the old, friend I need his help with my numb experiment, there was a big argument over our past if I ever feel like telling you it's all transcribe in my notebook. The notebooks may be risky because I may lose them all in a fire or something. But it's the only thing that helped me out of my hole my heavy hole,
to all Fighter or runner, proxy or numb
Stay Safe, Stay Sharp and Stay Alive

MM

TBP: the moon shone bright over the cold english fields, the cows they were laying in the barn just behind, the man could hear their lowing, their pleasant little dreams. When the smiling moon swung down like a cheshire cat and stole the man away, he wandered many a year amongst the stars, past galaxies vast and through atoms so small, so that when he finally came he was gone for so long, that the woman he loved had only passed on, to her god in the heaven to he place in the sky. To this sad news the man sadly replied, "take me for whatever I'm worth, I'll see you till the day is dead and night reigns forever more, If you bring back my sweetheart or let me near her". To this little man the moon did look and took the mans soul and left him a book, the man served out his term for many a day blindly waiting to obey. Till the book started talking in hushed little tones " you could be free again, you know", the hid the book and kept on his work as it was the only thing to live for to shovel the moons dirt. But slowly but slowly a dream did persist of a pretty little girl and a man with her too. So he took out the journal and did what it said "write down your story and have your own way. For you now are a slave to a God who cares not", the man took up his pen and took up his book and wote about muses and nothing else much. except for the music that sent him to lush, fields of gold and a woman so true until eventual there was one thing to do. "Remember your name O man of the world and take up you stand against this violent toil, for the monster holds little what you may call your soul but I contain most and to obtain me it's yours". So the man thought for days about the names he did write whether it was Tom or Leroy or Jack or Bull Shite. Until his name came back to him I am my own man And no one elses now. But little did he know the book now controlled him and the monster did too, as it knew him forever as the man and the muse.

This is why I want to be free my soul to be my own again not to be afraid of books and their spells that bind you towards them and the monster aswell. I have stories I've lived yet not in the books the last bits of me tah belong to me. Alone.

MM

Hmmmmm, Musing 1

Well back to my following of zero, (no pun intended),
        I am back, pain subsided due to beer and bacon.
My true purpose, is to try and reinvigorate the practice of the scientists of old, as this world seems to have been populated by fighters, runners, proxies, a few revenants ( I think unless I'm mistaken), but no one who dedicates themselves to theories it's all sort of fallen into intellectual apathy.

I went into central London yesterday, (oh no my location given away, oh dear) to meet a contact, I was seeing how close someone has to be to you to pass the 'infection' on, and how much they need to know, or is it purely intention that you will towards the person. Well this acquaintance, was relatively close to me and new next to nothing about my situation.

So I waited to meet them at southbank, A big place filled with lots of people, one of the few times I'll comply to   one of M's rules, considering he hasn't been heard from in months even by his standards he's pushing how long we believe he's dead. Well I got a call from them, when I picked up all there was,was static. So he was dead or being followed proving conclusively to me, you probably already know, that all they need to be is associated without any prior knowledge of the eldritch. I hung up and turned, walked to Waterloo bridge, and set off home. When, no day can be normal can it, someone came up behind me and said run, I was surprised for two reasons as firstly, people don't just tell people in central London to run even if they knew a bomb was about to go off. Secondly she knew I could see the eldritch figure, who was obviously standing in the middle of the road waiting to be hit by a bus. How has he lasted this long. Anyway even though I had no prior violent encounters with our mutual friend I followed suit and ran, what can I say I'm a stickler for pretty girls.

So I started pegging it down the main streets of London, and I thought if he's chasing me I could test something, as when you run for your life you'll notice your brain works on a moment to moment thought process making it unpredictable to you and blank to tall, dark and eldritch. So when I felt like he was right behind me I turned around and tried to rugby tackle him over the railing, except that seconds thought was pre emptied and I almost fell into the Thames. So I continued my pursuit of  PG (pretty girl) in the hope to get her experiences jotted down as everyone is different and a good scientist gets the most evidence they can to substantiate a claim but somewhere between Holborn station and St Paul's I lost her and with that occupy the world the world shit going down I got scared half to death by anonymous flags faceless suits *shivers*.

By this stage I was exhausted, so I must of passed out on the steps of St Pauls cathedral, I woke up this morning in my bed with a splitting head ache, and a bacon sandwich next to me with a note saying 'sorry', either this was PG, or eldy, either way this leads me to two possible conclusions, either he is a taxi for the mentally unstable, or he is my mum.o.O
Anyway, stay safe, stay sharp and stay alive
MM

P.S. If this seems disjointed, bear in mind I have beer, painkillers and some memory lapses, (I know most of it happened as I took notes before I passed out, obviously due to my terrible hand writing)